Minsk style

Italian cafe "Grip" in the center of Minsk


One of the squares


One of the Universities


One of the most popular park in Minsk.


The square of Victory (one of the center for making appointments)


National Library

One day off

It was Sunday and honestly I don't like this day of week cuz next day is Monday. On Sundays i usually don't know what to do - to relax (but u can't make party up to the night) or to start work (psychological). So in that Sunday i decided just to do what i really want. When i woke up i felt like going somewhere to drink coffee. Usually we do it in the evening but i said why not? So it was around 10 in the morning, not many people in the city and we (my husband and me) went to MacDonald's. Spent there around 2 hours and relaxed under the sunshine outside, we fed the birds there and went to walk around the park. Few people and cars, nature - everything is green - and fresh air, no plans - all this gave us the feeling of freedom. We were moving somewhere just by impulse. We meditated a little bit on the bench in the park and then kept going. We decided to go to bookshop. I was interested to find a book about "Tantra sex" but they didn't have it. Well, without long thinking we went to the movie on "Spider man" (it's my husband wish) on kids time (14.00) and in half an hour after the film started we left. I didn't like it (& either my husband). We came home tired and fresh. So sometimes it's very useful just to put away all ur plans for weekend (cleaning, washing, cooking etc) as many women have and just do wherever ur soul wish. )

Still complain?...

"U still complain? Observe around u and be thankful for all u have in this life. We are lucky. We have much more than we really need in content."

Thinking about people who live in Africa very poor and sick I have some questions for myself...

Actually don't like such material cuz can't look at it without tears. U know i really share the opinion of Buddha who said that "life is suffering" and all the time thinking about sense of life and philosophy I get depressed cuz I get confused sometimes, Many years ago I opened the sense of life for myself - it's gathering love for God, to born this feeling inside and save it as much as possible. But sometimes to feel love for Life and world becomes difficult. So that's why i get depressed after such photos, cuz i can't help this people and they r dieing.

But sometimes I think about material world and think that i really don't have strong wishes which would help me to reach something serious in life - career, more money etc. U understand what i mean. So i'm satisfied with what i have for 100% and i feel sometimes that it'd be better if i really needed something (wishes). I just control my wishes for 100 % and if I can't have something I tell myself that I'm happy and without that thing. So it's subject to think about...

How to feel happy with what u have and still be a little bit unsatisfied which will push u to be active in material life to reach something???...

Cuz it's a fact that a man do something only if he needs something - i mean u should be in a crisis situation full of needs and only then ur mind start work faster and u find the opportunity to change situation. When u were born in a rich family and u have everything u want u don't need to do something herself, u have it already! But the less u have from birth the more chance u have in life to achieve something. So how to feel harmony and love inside and at the same time to be aggressive (in a working sense) and unsatisfied to be active?...

Nostalgie

I'm from Belarus, Minsk. I was lucky to visit some countries such as England, France, Germany, Bulgaria, Ukraine, Poland, Turkey. I've been there just for couple days, in some of them I spent my vacation. But 3 years ago I've been to New York. I came there through student program (at that time I was studying in University) "Work&Travel" and spent there 3 months. It's a great feeling - when u can earn urself, without parents support. U can live there, u can feed urself, work and have fun at the same time. I liked my country (and still love), but all my American friends used to advice me to stay there and go to college, but when I remembered the face of my parents who stayed at railway station and where crying when I was leaving to Moscow to the airport, I couldn't stay. The most interesting feelings during these 3 months i had: first month I was very excited and I was happy to be there but wanted to come back to my country; second months I started hesitating - and my poor mom was all the time worrying if i come back or not - she even couldn't advice me what to do; the third month i decided to leave but an awful pain and regret was in my heart cuz I can't do another way. I just have to come back cuz of my parents, my university...
So all my friends told me that it's my last chance to stay there and pushed me not to do a mistake, cuz I'll never get visa again.
So I left. I missed everything there but didn't regret.
Another summer came and again I was lucky and got visa. But this year was everything different. In my country I left my future husband. I was enjoying being in NY, I fell in love with this city, but I didn't have a moment about thinking to stay there, cuz I missed my (that time) boyfriend a lot. I left NY 2d time and now I'm in Belarus, married with my boyfriend and we'r very happy. I like my country a lot. But last time, when summer is coming I see in my dreams how I come to NY the 3d time. I see NY in my dreams. If anybody would ask me if I regret i didn't stay - no, i don't regret, i just feel sorry I had such circumstances which all the time made me come back. Now I play Green Card with my husband and still I'm not sure if I wish to leave here everything including parents and my status (which doesn't give me anything), my friends and all that 5 years of studying here and diplom and to start everything from the beginning. I know just that I miss NY, and in my dreams I come back there sometimes...

Divorces

I remember my teen age when my mom told me that the main condition of happy family life and relations is respect. I didn't understand it at that time. Now, when I got married and looking around at my friend's marriage it seems to me my mother's words are true for 100%... I'm only 23 and I'm only 1 year in a marriage and almost 3 years in relationship with my husband and of cause I'm not experienced in family life enough, but I'm enough experienced in relations and the fact that all men I ever knew are my friends now and we still respect each other gives me the right to write this.
So the main (one of the main) things of happy relations is respect. What's that? Before in the time of my grands it was associated with: restraint in emotions, behavior and sex, to say You instead you, to go by the name, etc. But when the "free" time of XXI century came, youth doesn't control the manner of talk to each other. Again looking at my friends couples, I see the way they talk:
1. She allows herself to criticize Him in front of friends, even more - His parents, she compares Him with another man in front of people and shows his disadvantages.
2. So He does the same - he discusses her weight in front of her girlfriends; makes compliments to her girl-friends trying to show her that she cooks for example worth.
And what's more awful each of them thinks that the more he/she will disrespect another one, the better he/she will be looked in front of people, something like "I'm such a good one, and I'm so unhappy cuz I'm much better than my partner and people should feel sorry about my "poor" destiny and tell my parter how much he/she should appreciate me!". My God, this village people!!!
Instead of showing how lucky I'm cuz God sent me this person and he/she is with me, and show out the advantages, they enjoy disrespecting the partner. I hear sometimes as men call their sexual partner or girlfriend "bitch". That I can't understand even if they have just sex with them. So people lost respect. Of cause here's lack of culture, background, aesthetic attitude to life in general. That's why I think young people, getting marriage, are doing that being lead by sexual passion. When passion is finishing they don't have true love which consist of respect.
Here's eastern wisdom:
The attraction of minds burns respect...
The attraction of souls burns friendship...
The attraction of bodies burn passion...
The union of 3 ingredients: Respect, Friendship and Passion - burns LOVE...

p.s. I never found the definition of LOVE better than this one.
p.s. I have all this 3 ingredients in relations with my husband and today I feel the most happy person. And wish everybody has the same. :-)

Women' Jealousy

I'm a very jealous person. Even more awful - i want the person to be just mine. I wanna him to see just me, to breath with me, to live in me. Brrrr!.... Awful! I know that. But can't do anything. I wanna be not even loved (it's not enough), adored by my partner!!! According to all issues of men psychology I supposed to be alone the whole life, cuz men are afraid of such woman. But when men are so jealous - woman should be tolerant and accept that as a norm. Well, but my happiness is that i can control my feelings somehow, not to show that (that's why I have the best men as a husband now and besides I never had problems in relations since 19 years old). So I live according to the principal: or I give all of myself to the partner Or i give nothing (the relations shouldn't be started - I'm alone). So I can do everything for man just only in a case if he'll give me back just a small-small thing... his soul :) (like a small devil). But, men, don't worry, my partners and ex one live happily now, they are in a good health and feel sorry that they lost me one day. Cuz being objective I really give all myself to the partner. So my jealousy is coming out as (not scandals, God save!): if i notice that my partner doesn't adore me when I need it (every one has sentimental moments) I getting very cold. In my mind I feel very lonely and I push away the partner. All my love and warmth disappears somewhere. But physically everything the same. But emotionally the partner feels it. I kiss him, i can embrace him, prepare breakfast or something like this. But everywhere in the air here's "winter"... cold... Probably many guys, reading that, feel so sorry about my husband (calm down guys, he'll be saved). And what's more interesting sometimes I love these moments, cuz If before in period of "summer" I couldn't imagine how I would take the pain if a man leave me, so in these moments of "winter" I feel power to live alone very good. I'm getting a very big power and confident. And it makes me stronger, when in my heart only LOVE for myself is left. That's great. After that when my mood changes and I'm not so sentimental, I come back to usual relations and forget about these minutes. Notice: no scandals in relations, just some changes in my soul. Actually the partner can behave as usual, but my mood is very changeable. Of cause I'd love to have the same mood every time about my partner, it'll me easier for me, but from another side it's boring. I think that to be more calm about relations I should love a little bit less. It means I should love myself more. But I can't live like that. Everything or nothing - my stupid principal. I'm honestly write about myself. I know it's not the best feature of mine, but believe me - in "summer" period it's hard to find woman better than me :)
p.s. For woman who a jealous as me:
1. don't make scandals. If u can't accept something or ur tolerance has finished - just leave.
2. don't shantage ur partner with sex or things u usually do about the house (preparing meals)
3. don't talk about problems with ur parents and girlfriends (for ur own good)
4. just start LOVE urself more

Feelings after sex

As many lovers we can have - as different feelings we can have after sex.

Physically all feelings can be divided just into 2 parts:
1. u can feel tired and lazy after sex
2. u can be full of energy.

It actually depends on the energy exchange of both partners. And here are different practice and methods to share energy with ur partner and to save it. One of the most popular practice for "sex for health" is Tantra. But unfortunately I can't fond of it cuz of lack of information. The more energy we have - the more healthy we feel. Freid used to say that here's just one kind of life energy - sexual energy, it means that the source of energy is in sexual excitement. I can't totally agree, but may be I just don't know something, anyway I'm not a scientist as him. So during sex a person loose a lot of energy, it's fact. So to spend the energy one should have it before. That's why one of my principals (to have sex only with person who I LOVE) is based on it. I take energy from my Love to share it during the sex with the partner not to feel emptiness of strengths after sex. Of cause here's much more different factors influencing on our physical condition after sex - time, weather, place, feelings, stress etc. But again i repeat - mostly it depends on energy exchange - our relations with partner, thoughts and attitude to this process. To "give" - not to "get"...

Psychologically...
From one side here's more difficult, from another - much easier. How many times, feeling uncontrolled passion before, after having sex, u felt urself so lonely and empty? Why? Again 2 reasons: or u didn't need that partner at the beginning and just couldn't resist to passion OR ur partner didn't meet ur expectations and left u without attention after sex. So here is more difficult cuz u never know how ur partner will behave after sex, and easier - cuz all this feelings are inside u and u can control them changing the attitude to circumstances. When the relations between partners are steady and strong, of cause everyone wants to be covered in an embrace of the partner in a cozy, warm blanket, feeling a hot breathing of partner somewhere on a neck, hearing some whisper of pleasant words in ears, and be covered with small-small light kisses in chicks. That's perfect psychological situation after sex. But if u don't know the partner long and after sex he or she doesn't give u the warmth u need, to my mind it's better just to get up and to leave. Why? Cuz having done that u'll feel much more confident and not so lonely. Did u notice that sometimes when something goes wrong in relations with ur partner, being in the same room together u feel so awfully lonely. And opposite - being alone u don't feel lonely. That's why to stay with a person for who u was just for sex and u hoped for some more serious relations will put u in depressed feeling, disappointed, u'll start blaming urself for another mistake u did, and more awful feeling disgusting about urself. That u can't let happen.

So and I have one question for u guys: what would u like ur partner to do after sex (to prepare a drink, coffee, massage, etc)?

Eirikur Hauksson - Valentine Lost (Iceland)

I'll let the music play while love lies softly bleeding
In heavy hands - on shadow lands
As thunder clouds roll in sunset is receding
No summerwine - no Valentine

A tiger trapped inside a cage
An actor on an empty stage
Come see the show
Rock and roll can heal your soul
When broken hearts lose all control

Some rivers still run dry and jungles burn to embers
Gold autumn days - must fade to gray
There is a reason why a haunted man remembers
One frozen night - his darkest day

A tiger trapped inside a cage
An actor on an empty stage
Come see the show
Rock and roll can heal your soul
When broken hearts lose all control

A passion killed by acid rain
A rollercoaster in my brain
But how would you know
In your satin silk and lace
Another time another place

A tiger trapped inside a cage
An actor on an empty stage
Come see the show
Rock and roll can heal your soul
When broken hearts lose all control

A love that loose and painted black
A train stuck on a broken track
I'll let it go
Rock and roll has healed my soul
The stage is set on with the show

Eurovision 2007

The 1/2 final passed yesterday and here's my opinion. In general i liked the level of music and pop singers in this year. But some results about final put me in shock.
Who i liked most:
Iceland was very interesting song, full of drama, great music and lyrics. And i'm really pissed of that it didn't enter final. Last year this fucking Lordi took 1st place, Bulgaria, Albania, Portugal(!!!) entered the final, and Iceland was left without attention. My God where's the ur ears, Eurovision! Well, his appearance is not attractive, but SONG!!!

Serbia also to my mind showed professionalism. This year so many sexy girls with long legs and not context lyrics that when i saw Serbia i felt warm inside. It was very intelligent show, with taste, very serious song. I loved it. Such a great voice, so natural!

Georgia also was not ordinary. Very interesting song, which reminded me Bjork-style. Very hard to copy that song, and vocal was pretty good.

But for example Portugal surprised me - where did come, girl with such song - to the beach or where? Nice song, but not for Eurovision! Turkey also. Turkey has such a great music potential, but this year they sent a guy, who looks like Dieter Bohlen from Modern talking and Ricky Martin at the same time. Not impressive song at all! But they have so many great songs!!!! I can't understand. Bulgaria was trying to copy Enigma style. All this is good, but for eurovision u should choose powerful and magnetic song! May be I'm wrong, we gonna see. Poland - nice song and nice vocal, she was good on a stage, her worrying was not seen. I'd love to dance with this song at disco club, mix R'B & jazz, but i can't say that it deserves 1st place. Well, we gonna see.

Today i'm gonna worry about Belarus of cause. I think that this year we have all chances to show good results. Dima looks like real man, not as gay or transfestit,with good voice and very bright, dramatic and expressive song. But in eurovision u never know. Hardly can say anything about Ukraine with her joke pop-singer. It's really stupid joke from Ukraine, probably they hope that Europe has good sense of humor. As to Russia - nice song, nice girls, i liked it personally a lot, but they'r not experienced enough. And I'm afraid that for us, Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, this song sounds as something new, but Europe had enough the same songs, with a little bit bitchy, independent, very sexy girls. Well, we have just one thing to do - to wait for final and enjoy it, and not be upset in any case...

2 men+ 1 woman?...

I told u guys my experience & thoughts about situation when in sex participate 2 girls & one man. So it's time to discuss opposite situation. In this case i think that the thoughts to involve another guy in sex mostly times belong to women actually, but they very seldom say that aloud to their partner. They just behave the way to push their men to propose this to them. Though here's many different types of relationships between men&women, so it's very hard to say for 100% who's is mostly initiator :)

My personal opinion: in GENERAL IT CAN BE interesting for experience (but sometimes during sex with my husband i hardly can imagine how i'd deal with 2 guys and would carry on this if i'm satisfied with my husband much more than i even need), but only in a case when u r:

1. far away from home (in different country) when u'r sure u ll never meet that guys any more (just in case);

2. got acquaintance with two guys-friends at the same time and had the same relations with each of them

3. u know them not long time but already can trust them.

So as u see it's very hard to find right partners for this process ;)

But i remember couple years ago i was dating with one guy, and we had nice relations and i appreciated them a lot. So after some time he proposed me to have sex with another guy (attention! it was a men, who proposed that!) but as far as i didn't want our relations changes after that i refused. We broke up after some time, and sometimes i regret i didn't try that. But also. When u love somebody (like now i love my husband) i love to belong just to him, i love to show that in front of other guys who can flirt with me. I get some kind of satisfaction so i hardly can imagine myself being shared by husband with another man. Also it's gonna be just sex, but i have the principle to have sex only with the person I love (i wrote about that).

But in any case the relations will change after that. And it's very risk full for loving couples. The relations can change as to better side - u'll open something new in a partner and u'll start to trust him more, as to worse - u'll not like that and not be able to forget ur partner in that time, ur memory will not leave u in harmony or u'l just be jealous. So one should to risk when he has nothing to loose i think (even with husband or wife, when the relations came to the end just to refresh them any way, but not as many young couples preferring free sexual relations being married!). According to forums where that subject is often discussed many couples broke after that. And everyone should understand where this freedom in sexual life leads love to...

Ur choice - career or family?...

Today was the most busy working-day in my accounting life.... I'm squeezed as a lemon actually. But after work, analyzing my day, i catch myself at interesting reflection... But I'll start from the beginning.

I work in a company as an accountant. One month ago our Chief Accountant left the company and I stayed alone. Nobody showed me anything, so I had to learn everything just by myself. But our company is small and actually i didn't like the conditions over there. So i also told my boss that i'm gonna leave, but we gave each other time: for him to find another one; for me - to find another job. So it one month passed since our talk. It's considered we leave each other May, 30. So me and my husband were making plans for vacations for June, cuz i was thinking to have vacation for June and then since July to find another job.

We decided to visit Egypt. So i was corresponding with my friend from Egypt about our meeting there, we were searching the best proposals of trips in Internet during the months, we visited even the travel agency in different city about that business. I bought swimsuit, spent 5 hours for that! And in general I haven't been vacation for 2 years already. At last we didn't have honeymoon with my husband since we got married. So all this pleasant troubles made our mood better.

But today my boss proposed me to stay and he gonna increase my salary. Well, i would like to stay, cuz in my position (i don't have experience enough) it's not bad salary. But he just can't find another accountant who would satisfy him (just as a person) and our office is situated far away from city. I asked him about the possibility to take vacation in June as I planed, but his answer was more "no" than "yes" (he's in hurry and we didn't finish).

So now I think what i suppose to do. I've never thought that this global question as what to choose - family or career - I will ever be deciding. I always thought that I'll deal with both that things easy. But now I understand that sometimes circumstances doesn't let u do it easy. So i just really do not know what to do. I understand my boss' position (he can't leave the only accountant for vacation) and just don't want to change my family plans, especially if it concerns my husband and his time also.

What to do? What to choose?...

Two girls and one guy???....

I always had one principle in sexual relations - to have sex with anybody i should love him... And still i think this way. As far as i also think that it's possible to LOVE just one person in one moment (it doesn't matter it can be the period of one hour or one year or the whole life - u can name it as LOVE), so I never could afford myself to have sex with two guys at the same time. But i wanna tell the story which happened to me couple years ago when I was single and was a student.
I had a friend (a girl) who I knew rather well. Once I came to her in the evening and thought to stay at her for a night. So we had good mood and wanted to have fun. We were thinking about where to go and with who. So it happened that her friend (a guy, actually her lover) was in a company with us alone. So we went out together good way, smoked some pots and were laughing until our stomach was aching. So we came to her house rather late around 2-3 pm, we drank couple cocktails or something like this and i felt very sleepy and couldn't wait for his leaving to go to bed. What's my surprise when i knew that he stays and i'll have to share one bed with my girlfriend (it's ok) and him (it's shock for me). So being a student i didn't have money to spend them on a taxi (in a case if u don't like something u'r free to leave) and it's too late that public transport was not working. So i had to stay.
So laying together i was trying to fall asleep but they started to make love. I got up and went to the kitchen. I was sitting there, smoking, and feeling so awful, when they call me and invited me to join them. It's was the second shock time at that evening. I understand the position of a guy in that case, but didn't expect that from my girlfriend. So i said no (even being drunk I had some stop signs inside me), but they felt very relaxed and were having sex just in front of me! One moment i thought about to join them just to have experience but I couldn't. I felt disgusted. I was remembering the scene from porno movies which exited me back then and couldn't believe that it's so disgusted in real life especially if u'r witness of this. I thought that it can turn on somehow, but no! I don't know why had all that feeling at that time - cuz of my life principles, or i didn't like the guy or my girlfriend enough as a sexual partner i mean, or something else. I'm sure here are some people including girls who would get excited on my position and would join them. Or who knows may be i'd join the couple if on their place were different people - i really don't know. I just say about what i felt at that moment...
Now, remembering that, honestly i'm glad it happened to me, just now i know what kind a feeling i can have. But repeat one more time - it's just individual case -exactly that guy and that girl - and i had this kind of emotions. But I also never know if the situation would happen to me again with different people what i would feel and do.
p.s. I'm still friend of that girl,

Oh, Sunday...

Today is Sunday and the thought about that makes the mood better. It's so pleasant to open the eyes and see the sunshine out of the window... to pull all the body laying in a bad, being lazy to yawn... and after all to say to urself - A GREAT THINGS R WAITING FOR U, BABY, WAKE UP! - and kissed husband to get up...
I love these days, when nobody hurries u up. After u get up to walk to the bathroom to wash ur face and to take a warm big man bathroom-robe and put on big funny slippers with cow head :-) To open the window in a bedroom to feel fresh air and to go to the kitchen to prepare very strong coffee with lemon without sugar with a small piece of 80% chocolate. After that to light the first sigaret and feel urself the boss of ur own life. This feeling comes in working days very seldom cuz all the time u have to do something for somebody, u don't have time even to think about that, u r slave of ur boss, ur job, circumstances, wishes of other people, etc. But when u off - u have this kind of freedom which u the whole week miss so much about.
In these days u stay alone with urself and u can devote all ur time to ur hobbies, to the things u love to do, just to have a rest.
Actually I always thought (and even now do) that having 2 days off i should spend them active way - shopping, friends, parties, movies, cafes or restaurants, clubs, some sport activities etc. While my husband prefer to stay home and do nothing. But writing this page i just asked myself - what makes me to move all the time - my need for communication with people and friends, the thoughts that if i do nothing i miss something in my life OR the fair to stay alone with myself when different thoughts about my life comes? Honestly guys, can't answer now. But probably now i started understanding my husband's position about spending time at weekend.
I'd love to know how u guys spend ur offs? R u trying to do all things including fun during working week and be lazy at offs OR u just work 5 days so hard and fix all private things at offs?

Bisexual relations

I'd like to talk about lesbians. Last time that type of sexual relations is getting more spread. But I'd like to talk not about those who r proved lesbians, but about the girls who r interested in relations with men, but still had or has any relations with girls. They r not lesbians, they r just bisexual experienced. Not long ago I heard Angelina Jolia had bisexual experience. And what's the more interesting the society except that right way. But if any girl says that she doesn't need men but women - that fact the society can't except. That's strange fact! One of famous Russian pop group comes to my mind - Tatu. They became popular very fast and i guess that happened because of their image of young teen lesbians.

Here are different opinions about that subject and reaction between men and women. Every girl I think has different emotions trying to imagine herself making love with another woman. But anyway i think the main factor which attracts to this relations with girls another girls is curiosity.

But personally me - I catch myself looking at photos or porn moves with lesbians that it excites me, that's truth. Would I like to try it? Well, let me keep it in a secret... )))

Destiny's joke

I was a cherry student girl, when decided to visit USA, NY second time. During the 1st year when i've been there i managed to make some friends, but lots of them were just boolshitting guys. I mean that to invite me for a drink in a cafe - no problem, but when u really face some troubles in life - all of them escape as air ))) So, probably i had just one guy friend, who actually managed to save me from other guys attraction and to help me somehow with advice, with american pchycology. So when i came back to Minsk (Belarus) we were keeping in touch with each other. But after half a year we started to enoying each other u know. He wanted to see me a lot, but at the same time i knew that if i come back there and will accapt his help - I'm gonna be a slave. SO....
So i applied for a student work and travel programm, i was making all documents and that programm costed not cheap by the way - 3000$. So being tired from total control of my friend even from NY being in another continent!!!! and some kind of jeliousy (on which my american friend didn't have any right), i decided for myself that I'm gonna come back to NY but he shouldn't know about that. And I wanted to find some friends from NY who just could help me to find appartment and job. So i visited couple sights in Minsk. And my mom told me why i don't find a friend also in Minsk? Well, i thought, why not? So i chose Minsk as a location link and saw a photo of a serious guy, blond one, in a black suit, with notebook in the office, looking mature and experienced. Well, i's interested in him. As far as i was hurring to look for anybody from NY, i didn't have my photo in Internet, and actually i didn't expect him to reply me. So i wrote him just couple words, something like "halo, my name's Anastasiya, i liked ur page a lot and also ur photo, my tel. number is..." As far as i didn't have computer at home that time, i didn't want to have long correspondance, that's why i left my tel. number just in a 1st massage. To correspondance with sms for me was more comfortable.
And 3-4 letters and he called me, we decided to meet. And that's it... I fell in love with him. I thought that the time is passing so fast and i can't catch it! My mind didn't have time realize everything but my body was dong something. U know what i mean. Everything was like in a dream ... We were dating 3 times, we kissed just at a 2nd one. At 3d date i thought i'll go nuts! I felt the fire in him! I felt the fire inside myself. We were kissing in a crowded street full of people, it's winter time and cold, we were trying to embrasse each other as tight as possible. That time i thought i'll start taking clothes off just at winter on the street! The passion was burning us and I thought that if he touch me one more time i'll rape him. But we stopped... That night i couldn't fall asleep long time. I was reminding all details of our date. So next day while talking to him i invited him for a tea ))) And beleive me guys or not - he said NO!!!! )))) Well, i's not offended at all, cuz i saw he's afraid to destroy our relations which just has begun. But as to me i decided that or i'll do this or i'll not sleep many nigts more dreaming about sex with him. He called me back in couple minutes (and believe i knew that) and acxeted my invitation. Of corse we made love, but everything was as if we did it many times, not shy, not nervious.
So it's Sunday. And he stayed. Up to this day) We lived with each other one year, after that got married, and not long ago we celebrated one year since wedding ))) He's the best guy, no - he's an angel who pulled me out from all my friends and dates and outs and all this. He chaned me to himself by loving me a lot )))) So did i ))

Opposites by me

The following is a list of recruited musical compositions Opposites in the performance by me. Music and words of Mandalay. This Track was written in 2003 and is still missing gather dust on our shelves.

To listen to the compositions of low-quality 64 Kbps select track in Music Box right now.

Download Opposites with Hi-Fi quality 256 Kbps (10 Mb)

Opposites lyrics

I'm look forward to hearing your feedback in the comments...

Falling asleep

How many times early in the morning, before to get up and go to work, we, being sleepy and lazy, dreaming about coming back home and falling asleep...
So now, when the hard working day is over, before to go to bed, let urself to leave all negative emotions behind u. It's not good to sit at the computer up to deep night and then to fall asleep right away on the table. Ur mind and eyes r not relaxing during the night!!!! So devote urself just couple minutes of relaxation. Turn off the light, take couple candles, u may put on some pleasant soft music... sit in a comfortable position, close ur eyes and start breathing deep. I'm not telling u the technology of meditation, I just propose u the method of sweet dreams. So think only about positive moments of past day, or better imagine: u r a free bird, flying above the ocean.... try to feel some fresh drops of ocean water, and u'r flying as high as u want. And u'r surrounded only with the sky and ocean. Feel the air... feel the water... feel this freedom of ur imagination.... and breath deep... Don't think about future day and plans, don't think about past troubles. Just u'r a free bird. Right here in ur world, right in this moments u'r FREE FROM ANYTHING. And guys, believe me or not, just let urself to try ur imagination, and 10-15 minutes before falling asleep will refresh ur mind and present u such a sweet dream ))) So, have a good dreams )

First sexual experience

We gonna continue our subject - sexual choice. But now I'd like to discuss what's right age to start sexual relationship. Those, who r still teens gonna be more interested in this subject i guess, but those who r mature and experienced in sex - don't hurry up to close this page, cuz to my mind our first sexual experience influence on the whole future relationship. Being a teen i was looking around to my friends and was solving the problem - should i start or not. How to recognize right person, with who u gonna enjoy and never regret about that? My parents (as many other) all the time were teaching me to be smart girl and save myself only for husband. Up to 17 years old i truly believed them. But at 18 i changed my mind. So i can say that from 14 up to 18 i wanted to try that so much! But God saved me he didn't send me right guy. Once i asked my classmate (a girl) how it's supposed to be to avoid disappointment after sex. So she said: "when u feel that u gonna die right now near this guy if he will not kiss u at least, if u can't control urself and u'r loosing ur mind because of strong passion, and u feel trembling and u don't care where it'll happen, and will u have guys future relations or not, u just want him - that's the sign for u to do that". And U know, i remembered that. I thought in 16 i was ready for sexual relations. I really had deep theoretical knowledges in this field ) but no practice )) But when I became 18 - u know, only after i became more adult, i felt such a strong passion and i felt that i can't stop passion inside me any more - and the important - don't want to do that any more. And actually when u'r really ready as psychological as physical - u can do that and be sure - u'll never regret about that. And may be i'm one of happy person who never regrets about past or i was just lucky to meet the best people - i don't know... So after 18 i told myself that i should feel different kind of relations, love and passion before i get married, and i think now my husband is thankful me for that. U can change lovers as much as u can - but u supposed to learn from relations only in that case they will not dirty ur soul but make it more experience.
Of cause u should prepare to that moment, in a best case everything should be beautiful and romantic. But what's much more important - u should be prepared urself. Never start relations because of ur partner - to hold him near, to please ur partner, because of friend's jokes or talks of ur classmates, never try to risk with ur psychological health to prove anything to anybody. Remember - it's ur life, it's ur emotions and feelings and as u start it, what kind of memories u'll save - u'll save urself from future problems and complexes in future relations with the person who can truly love u...

Sexual choice

Here are so many different kinds of sexual relationships in the world. Every person choose himself what's is more acceptable for him. Everyone decides in what age to start this "adult" life, with who and how many lovers supposed to be in your bad. So i think that the society divides into 3 parts: 1. those who try to vary their life and to taste everything 2. those who live according to religion and social rules and opinion 3. and those, who live "right" but somewhere deep inside they feel the need to try something new but they are afraid of risk - to risk with steady relationship with her partner, to risk with social status, with harmony in their soul, just afraid to be misunderstood. So and it's normal. Me personally, i would put myself to the 3d category.
I was growing up a "right" girl, i mean that my parents did everything to surround me with the atmosphere of fears and sins. I can't say they r religious people, but when it's comfortable for them - they show me letters in Bible. So before to start "adult" life I was all the time comparing what i've been taught and what i was feeling. It's not easy actually, i needed time to get the harmony with my soul and needs of body. I found lots of answers to my questions, I found probably my personal principals which never let me be sorry about what I did. So let me tell u some of them and I hope it can help anybody to feel happy:
1. if u doubt about "to do this or not to do" - i always thing that more often it's better to be sorry about what u DID then about what u NOT DID. I just think that if all ur inside world whisper u "do", but ur mind stops u because of mental and society rules - so switch off ur mind at this moment cuz it can happen that u gonna be sorry about thats for the rest of ur life.
2. u suppose to love (at least very attracted to) the person to who u allow to get in ur bad. Actually it doesn't matter how strong feelings he has about u, much more important are ur personal feelings, cuz it's ur experience. And don't think about future at that time, it doesn't matter will u continue relations or not. If this guy or girl is already in u bad - just enjoy right here and right now.
3. In sexual relations is very important not to get, but to GIVE. Don't think about urself, think about the partner and u gonna get back all that love and passion u sent to ur partner.
The main thing of attraction to each other is passion. Passion makes ur body to born huge doze of hormones, which make u fly, which make ur heart bit faster. I think everyone once felt the feeling when the fire inside burns everything, when ur hands and all ur body is trembling and u loose orientation where u r, u see just the only person, who's near u, who... breeds the passion... And in these moments u really don't care where to make love - in chic apartment or in the forest or a car. U realize that perhaps u break something (some rules or somebody heart, or ur own principals) but u can't deal with this feeling. U just loose ur mind ) But it's great!!! U start living at this moment! In spite of how many problems u gonna face after all u did - u can't feel sorry. Cuz the value of such moment is huge. So everyone choose himself what kind of memory he gonna have after many years...