what to do if ur mind is fucked up with all outside shit!

when u'r out of this world...

sometimes, u even can't understand how it happens - or because ur mind gets so much tired cuz of work, or cuz of smoken siggarette, or drunk glass of wine - u feel like all ur hidden wishes from deep of ur soul comes out outside and u want to do the things which u would never do in ur life! to talk to unknown person on the street, to talk about "forbidden" things with ur friends, or to start making hard-cor sex with ur partner. All these things will make u feel shame in the morning, but only these acts will relax u 100% and refresh ur minf. Spa, massage, chilling out with friends in the cafe - all thes things will make illusuin of refreshing, but to know ueslef and get the 2d breath - one should do something which is out if his usual life's style... What u think?

About winter

Usually at summer time i don't want winter to come. But now, when autumn, i realized that here's something pleasant in winter, more cozy i guess. First of all it's more soft and plesant staying at home, sitting on the sofa with hot cup of coffee, it's getting dark out side -so i can light on candles and it's very romantic. While falling asleep i can feel hot body of husband, and it makes my dreams more bright and deep. I can concentrate more on house, cooking, and myself at winter. And of corse Christmass and New Year Tree. That inspires! So as people say every season is good by his way...

Our first expeierans: me as a model. my husband - as a photographer. Model business is not easy as i used to convineced.

I wanna be your Angel, to be near by u all the time, when u feel good and not, and u feel sad or happy. I wanna give u my hand u to hold it for the rest of out lifes, cuz i'll be always near u. I'm ur Angel, because u created me. So I'm part of u, and i'm loving u.

Last time i catch myself with one wish... Long time i haven't been to europe, and i miss it. So when the snow first came-i felt such a strong desire to sit somewhere in a french cafe for example, with nice cup of coffee, with nice cake, somewhere near the window staring passing near by people out side, they would hurry somewhere but not me. I would relaxing and enjoying european cafe atmosphere, smoking. Oh, its so pity that its so hard to get visa to europe...

Yesterday i couldn't fall a sleep. Suddenly i felt i'm afraid of someting. I was feeling that! I was worrying about future, about income, about job, i was thinking what income i'm gonna have when i'll be 60-70 years old while i'm still 24. Seriously! I don't know what happened to me yesterday but i never was afraid so much. Of corse I often think about future, but like this - couldn't fall asleep - never! It's economic crush? Do u face the same problems?

Hooo...
Today's friday, tomorrow surtaday, but it's gonna be working day in our country. So yesterday i made some plans for friday evening like going out only by girls with my ex-classmates. We made appointment, discussed place and time, but honestly i didn't had strong wis to go there.
So in the evening my husband while picking me up from job invited me to the moovie, and he bought already tickets, well I decided to agree, cuz I wanted to see that moovie. So the whole day at work I was thinking about nice evening but probably it's not destiny to see it. I got call from my friend, who i haven't seen for half a year and she came from Russia, so she called me and asked about plans for friday evening, even more - she need to stay in my appartment - so of cuz i had to change my plans with husband.
So now i'm sitting at work and can't understand what's going on, cuz for 24ours my plans changed many times and psyhologicaly i'm empty and now i wanna nothing! Not moovie, not my friends, just nothing. Ok, my lovely husband canged tickets for tomorrow already so I hope nobody bother us tomorrow.

Hallo everybody. When summer has come i'm thinking about refreshing my diary more often. Why? Probably becorse in summer u get aquantance with new people from different countries, in some any tourists here, or be cuz u go vacation to another countries urself - as me I plan to go to Turkey and if u make friends it's good to leave them link of ur diary to know u better.. I don't know. Well, i'm sure i'll be back soon. Just best regards to everybody.

Hi guys. I feel shame when see private masseges to me while i stopped posting in my blog long ago. For this time many things happened to me and sometimes I want to share my experience with world, but don't know what to start with. So today is defenetly not right day to do it either.

X-plan

My dear girls, in spite some of us had vacation already on the beach and had already the opportunity to show the world our good-built shape, we still have to think about next vacation already! Truly saying after Egypt I didn't get weight what I was very afraid of most, but kilos are dangerous. But I stopped my training for two weeks. So now I'm going to write X-plan for myself and if some of u need inspiration - u can take something from it. I'll just remark something: I don't visit gym or public courses for some reasons and do all training at home. I just bought many DVD's with great variety of sport activity.
1 week: rehabilitation. All power training 1/2 of power!!!
Monday: yoga (1 hour). Tuesday: power training 1/2 program (ABC, legs and arms). Wednesday: yoga with fitness ball. Thursday: power training 1/2 program (ABC and arms). Friday: ballet + ABC exercises. Saturday: strip-dance + Pilates. Sunday: yoga stretching.
2 week: regular training
Monday: power training full program (ABC, legs and arms). Tuesday: yoga (1 hour). Wednesday: strip-dance + Pilates. Thursday: power training full program (ABC and arms). Friday: yoga with fitness ball. Saturday: ballet + ABC exercises Sunday: yoga stretching.
Wish myself good luck and for u my dear girls.
P.s. don't forget about light food, not eating after 18.00, more drinking water and good sleep. :-)

Love of my life...

I have inspiration now to say about my lovely husband. I just thought that he writes about me on his blog agrinev.blogspot.com so much, and I never told him through blog anything.
I'm one of the most happy woman who was lucky to meet her couple. It's so important for every person. It's so interesting in our relations: in spite he's 8 years older than me, sometimes I feel as if he's my baby, my kid. He revitalizes such a controversial feelings in me, that it surprises me all the time. In one moment I feel myself a small girl, who's taken care about. Especially in the moments when he calms me down when I'm upset, when we go shopping and he never lets me take anything heavy and even not heavy at all - usually he says "u'r too small yet". When he wakes me up in the morning with a kiss and cup of coffee in a hand, or when he gives me evening massage. When he picks me up after work even if he has to wait for me 1 hour on the street just not let me get tired walking home by public transport. When he is ready to make all my dreams come true.... In all these moments I feel myself his baby, happy baby.
But sometimes I feel such a great responsibility about Him, as if he's really my kid. I bother him sometimes about putting on warm close before go out, to have launch everyday (i enjoy cooking for him), if here's some option about more comfortable place, or more delicious food, or something like that - all the time I'll make the choice in his side, cuz he's my baby too. It's such a great feeling to care about the person who also devote all his power time and money for u back. It inspires me to do more and more for him. This is mutual process and the main link in the love chain. Hope God will help us to save this inspiration about each other for the rest of our lives.


p.s. Right now he's laying on the sofa and trying to repair pocket computer, he shakes with his feet to the bit of music and whispers something to himself and he looks so charming, my God!!!!

Respect for Egypt

What surprised me more in Egypt is their ability for landscape design. Egypt has 96% of desert surface, and only 4% - surface acceptable for living. And on this 20% they somehow manage to live and to make conditions for tourists to come there. Every tree has its own hose with water not to burn there. And hotel area is very beautiful, full of nice flowers and bushes. Just have a look! So their hard work is worth of great respect.

New Life

I wrote already about some troubles at my work. So today I decided to exactly - I'm gonna leave my job, which stopped satisfy me long ago. Looking one year back, when I just started to work in that company - all this year was full of some troubles - with job itself (but it's normal), with relations with main accouter, who never wanted to show me something or "teach" anything, some kind of competition from her side, though she was 10 years experienced and me - just 1/2 year; after she left the job and I stayed alone in accounting department - troubles with boss, who at the beginning asked me to stay and promised any information help from his side and after i stayed cuz nobody would work he got so angry all the time when I pushed him to tell me the information necessary for my work. Somehow it happened that he did something and I was the last one who know that and I had to think how to make nice3 everything by documents. Well, all that troubles gonna be behind me just in 10 days. But when u get use to something - it doesn't matter what: ur wife, pets, friend or job - quitting is always hurtful. I liked my colleagues and boss sometimes was also not bad. But being hesitating all the time I just got tired. Actually i didn't find another job yet, cuz i really dream only about one thing - not to go to work there. And here's some feeling as freedom and the beginning of new life. I don't know how soon I'll get another job, i don't care about time, I'm sure just in one thing - it's gonna be very good place with good salary. So I just regret about one thing - that i didn't do that before. I don't have fears about future and it help me to feel confidant.