Nostalgie

I'm from Belarus, Minsk. I was lucky to visit some countries such as England, France, Germany, Bulgaria, Ukraine, Poland, Turkey. I've been there just for couple days, in some of them I spent my vacation. But 3 years ago I've been to New York. I came there through student program (at that time I was studying in University) "Work&Travel" and spent there 3 months. It's a great feeling - when u can earn urself, without parents support. U can live there, u can feed urself, work and have fun at the same time. I liked my country (and still love), but all my American friends used to advice me to stay there and go to college, but when I remembered the face of my parents who stayed at railway station and where crying when I was leaving to Moscow to the airport, I couldn't stay. The most interesting feelings during these 3 months i had: first month I was very excited and I was happy to be there but wanted to come back to my country; second months I started hesitating - and my poor mom was all the time worrying if i come back or not - she even couldn't advice me what to do; the third month i decided to leave but an awful pain and regret was in my heart cuz I can't do another way. I just have to come back cuz of my parents, my university...
So all my friends told me that it's my last chance to stay there and pushed me not to do a mistake, cuz I'll never get visa again.
So I left. I missed everything there but didn't regret.
Another summer came and again I was lucky and got visa. But this year was everything different. In my country I left my future husband. I was enjoying being in NY, I fell in love with this city, but I didn't have a moment about thinking to stay there, cuz I missed my (that time) boyfriend a lot. I left NY 2d time and now I'm in Belarus, married with my boyfriend and we'r very happy. I like my country a lot. But last time, when summer is coming I see in my dreams how I come to NY the 3d time. I see NY in my dreams. If anybody would ask me if I regret i didn't stay - no, i don't regret, i just feel sorry I had such circumstances which all the time made me come back. Now I play Green Card with my husband and still I'm not sure if I wish to leave here everything including parents and my status (which doesn't give me anything), my friends and all that 5 years of studying here and diplom and to start everything from the beginning. I know just that I miss NY, and in my dreams I come back there sometimes...