Pages Of My Life

2010-05-28T18:12:00.000+02:00

what to do if ur mind is fucked up with all outside shit!

when u'r out of this world...

2010-05-27T20:42:00.002+02:00

sometimes, u even can't understand how it happens - or because ur mind gets so much tired cuz of work, or cuz of smoken siggarette, or drunk glass of wine - u feel like all ur hidden wishes from deep of ur soul comes out outside and u want to do the things which u would never do in ur life! to talk to unknown person on the street, to talk about "forbidden" things with ur friends, or to start making hard-cor sex with ur partner. All these things will make u feel shame in the morning, but only these acts will relax u 100% and refresh ur minf. Spa, massage, chilling out with friends in the cafe - all thes things will make illusuin of refreshing, but to know ueslef and get the 2d breath - one should do something which is out if his usual life's style... What u think?

About winter

2009-10-10T12:27:00.003+02:00

Usually at summer time i don't want winter to come. But now, when autumn, i realized that here's something pleasant in winter, more cozy i guess. First of all it's more soft and plesant staying at home, sitting on the sofa with hot cup of coffee, it's getting dark out side -so i can light on candles and it's very romantic. While falling asleep i can feel hot body of husband, and it makes my dreams more bright and deep. I can concentrate more on house, cooking, and myself at winter. And of corse Christmass and New Year Tree. That inspires! So as people say every season is good by his way...

2009-09-11T16:52:00.001+02:00

Our first expeierans: me as a model. my husband - as a photographer. Model business is not easy as i used to convineced.

2009-09-11T16:45:00.002+02:00

I wanna be your Angel, to be near by u all the time, when u feel good and not, and u feel sad or happy. I wanna give u my hand u to hold it for the rest of out lifes, cuz i'll be always near u. I'm ur Angel, because u created me. So I'm part of u, and i'm loving u.

2008-12-04T21:05:00.000+02:00

Last time i catch myself with one wish... Long time i haven't been to europe, and i miss it. So when the snow first came-i felt such a strong desire to sit somewhere in a french cafe for example, with nice cup of coffee, with nice cake, somewhere near the window staring passing near by people out side, they would hurry somewhere but not me. I would relaxing and enjoying european cafe atmosphere, smoking. Oh, its so pity that its so hard to get visa to europe...

2008-12-04T09:02:00.002+02:00

Yesterday i couldn't fall a sleep. Suddenly i felt i'm afraid of someting. I was feeling that! I was worrying about future, about income, about job, i was thinking what income i'm gonna have when i'll be 60-70 years old while i'm still 24. Seriously! I don't know what happened to me yesterday but i never was afraid so much. Of corse I often think about future, but like this - couldn't fall asleep - never! It's economic crush? Do u face the same problems?

2008-06-27T16:16:00.002+02:00

Hooo...
Today's friday, tomorrow surtaday, but it's gonna be working day in our country. So yesterday i made some plans for friday evening like going out only by girls with my ex-classmates. We made appointment, discussed place and time, but honestly i didn't had strong wis to go there.
So in the evening my husband while picking me up from job invited me to the moovie, and he bought already tickets, well I decided to agree, cuz I wanted to see that moovie. So the whole day at work I was thinking about nice evening but probably it's not destiny to see it. I got call from my friend, who i haven't seen for half a year and she came from Russia, so she called me and asked about plans for friday evening, even more - she need to stay in my appartment - so of cuz i had to change my plans with husband.
So now i'm sitting at work and can't understand what's going on, cuz for 24ours my plans changed many times and psyhologicaly i'm empty and now i wanna nothing! Not moovie, not my friends, just nothing. Ok, my lovely husband canged tickets for tomorrow already so I hope nobody bother us tomorrow.

2008-06-26T10:32:00.002+02:00

Hallo everybody. When summer has come i'm thinking about refreshing my diary more often. Why? Probably becorse in summer u get aquantance with new people from different countries, in some any tourists here, or be cuz u go vacation to another countries urself - as me I plan to go to Turkey and if u make friends it's good to leave them link of ur diary to know u better.. I don't know. Well, i'm sure i'll be back soon. Just best regards to everybody.

2007-10-06T10:15:00.000+02:00

Hi guys. I feel shame when see private masseges to me while i stopped posting in my blog long ago. For this time many things happened to me and sometimes I want to share my experience with world, but don't know what to start with. So today is defenetly not right day to do it either.

X-plan

2007-07-08T21:24:00.000+02:00

My dear girls, in spite some of us had vacation already on the beach and had already the opportunity to show the world our good-built shape, we still have to think about next vacation already! Truly saying after Egypt I didn't get weight what I was very afraid of most, but kilos are dangerous. But I stopped my training for two weeks. So now I'm going to write X-plan for myself and if some of u need inspiration - u can take something from it. I'll just remark something: I don't visit gym or public courses for some reasons and do all training at home. I just bought many DVD's with great variety of sport activity.
1 week: rehabilitation. All power training 1/2 of power!!!
Monday: yoga (1 hour). Tuesday: power training 1/2 program (ABC, legs and arms). Wednesday: yoga with fitness ball. Thursday: power training 1/2 program (ABC and arms). Friday: ballet + ABC exercises. Saturday: strip-dance + Pilates. Sunday: yoga stretching.
2 week: regular training
Monday: power training full program (ABC, legs and arms). Tuesday: yoga (1 hour). Wednesday: strip-dance + Pilates. Thursday: power training full program (ABC and arms). Friday: yoga with fitness ball. Saturday: ballet + ABC exercises Sunday: yoga stretching.
Wish myself good luck and for u my dear girls.
P.s. don't forget about light food, not eating after 18.00, more drinking water and good sleep. :-)

Love of my life...

2007-07-08T18:47:00.000+02:00

I have inspiration now to say about my lovely husband. I just thought that he writes about me on his blog agrinev.blogspot.com so much, and I never told him through blog anything.
I'm one of the most happy woman who was lucky to meet her couple. It's so important for every person. It's so interesting in our relations: in spite he's 8 years older than me, sometimes I feel as if he's my baby, my kid. He revitalizes such a controversial feelings in me, that it surprises me all the time. In one moment I feel myself a small girl, who's taken care about. Especially in the moments when he calms me down when I'm upset, when we go shopping and he never lets me take anything heavy and even not heavy at all - usually he says "u'r too small yet". When he wakes me up in the morning with a kiss and cup of coffee in a hand, or when he gives me evening massage. When he picks me up after work even if he has to wait for me 1 hour on the street just not let me get tired walking home by public transport. When he is ready to make all my dreams come true.... In all these moments I feel myself his baby, happy baby.
But sometimes I feel such a great responsibility about Him, as if he's really my kid. I bother him sometimes about putting on warm close before go out, to have launch everyday (i enjoy cooking for him), if here's some option about more comfortable place, or more delicious food, or something like that - all the time I'll make the choice in his side, cuz he's my baby too. It's such a great feeling to care about the person who also devote all his power time and money for u back. It inspires me to do more and more for him. This is mutual process and the main link in the love chain. Hope God will help us to save this inspiration about each other for the rest of our lives.

p.s. Right now he's laying on the sofa and trying to repair pocket computer, he shakes with his feet to the bit of music and whispers something to himself and he looks so charming, my God!!!!

Respect for Egypt

2007-07-08T18:17:00.000+02:00

What surprised me more in Egypt is their ability for landscape design. Egypt has 96% of desert surface, and only 4% - surface acceptable for living. And on this 20% they somehow manage to live and to make conditions for tourists to come there. Every tree has its own hose with water not to burn there. And hotel area is very beautiful, full of nice flowers and bushes. Just have a look! So their hard work is worth of great respect.

New Life

2007-07-08T17:51:00.000+02:00

I wrote already about some troubles at my work. So today I decided to exactly - I'm gonna leave my job, which stopped satisfy me long ago. Looking one year back, when I just started to work in that company - all this year was full of some troubles - with job itself (but it's normal), with relations with main accouter, who never wanted to show me something or "teach" anything, some kind of competition from her side, though she was 10 years experienced and me - just 1/2 year; after she left the job and I stayed alone in accounting department - troubles with boss, who at the beginning asked me to stay and promised any information help from his side and after i stayed cuz nobody would work he got so angry all the time when I pushed him to tell me the information necessary for my work. Somehow it happened that he did something and I was the last one who know that and I had to think how to make nice3 everything by documents. Well, all that troubles gonna be behind me just in 10 days. But when u get use to something - it doesn't matter what: ur wife, pets, friend or job - quitting is always hurtful. I liked my colleagues and boss sometimes was also not bad. But being hesitating all the time I just got tired. Actually i didn't find another job yet, cuz i really dream only about one thing - not to go to work there. And here's some feeling as freedom and the beginning of new life. I don't know how soon I'll get another job, i don't care about time, I'm sure just in one thing - it's gonna be very good place with good salary. So I just regret about one thing - that i didn't do that before. I don't have fears about future and it help me to feel confidant.

I am wet...

2007-07-02T22:50:00.000+02:00

I am shick...

2007-07-02T22:48:00.000+02:00

I am water...

2007-07-02T22:46:00.000+02:00

I am sweet...

2007-07-02T22:45:00.000+02:00

I am smile...

2007-07-02T22:44:00.000+02:00

I am sleep...

2007-07-02T22:39:00.000+02:00

I am nifertity...

2007-07-02T22:35:00.000+02:00

I am kart...

2007-07-02T22:28:00.000+02:00

I am yoga...

2007-07-02T22:27:00.001+02:00

I am thirthty...

2007-07-02T22:24:00.000+02:00

I am girl...

2007-07-02T22:21:00.000+02:00

I am pyramid...

2007-07-02T22:20:00.000+02:00

I am diver...

2007-07-02T22:16:00.001+02:00

I am east...

2007-07-02T22:14:00.000+02:00

I am fun...

2007-07-02T22:12:00.000+02:00

I am public...

2007-07-02T22:09:00.000+02:00

I am warm...

2007-07-02T22:08:00.000+02:00

I am wait...

2007-07-02T22:06:00.002+02:00

I am hot...

2007-07-02T22:06:00.001+02:00

I am love...

2007-07-02T22:04:00.001+02:00

I am pleasure...

2007-07-02T22:02:00.001+02:00

I am relaxed...

2007-07-02T21:58:00.001+02:00

I am soft...

2007-07-02T21:50:00.000+02:00

I am light...

2007-07-02T21:46:00.000+02:00

I am hard...

2007-07-02T21:43:00.000+02:00

I am sun...

2007-07-02T21:41:00.000+02:00

I am night...

2007-07-02T21:40:00.000+02:00

I am sand...

2007-07-02T21:37:00.000+02:00

I am dream...

2007-07-02T21:27:00.000+02:00

I am desert...

2007-07-02T21:17:00.000+02:00

I am fire...

2007-07-02T20:56:00.000+02:00

Egypt

2007-07-02T08:51:00.000+02:00

Well, we came back from Egypt with my husband. We have been 1 time there. So what we can say about our vacation?.... It's pretty good, but second time to go to Sharm El Sheih is not worth it.
It's 40 C degrees there, but the water in the sea was not so warm in the morning. The hotel Tropicana Rosetta was good and service was very nice. The food in a restaurant was not varietal but it was plenty of it. I's surprised but they have some problems with fruit - very poor - only bananas, orange and melon. There where very tasteful sweets, which i miss now in the mornings drinking coffee. The hotel had 4 swimming pools, 1 restaurant, couple cafes and bars. Our room was cleaned good every day, towels has been changing also every day. The Red sea is amazing full of different fishes, but there where corals which was concentrated with fishes. That's something!!! So it's a good relax, but 11-14 days it's more than enough, caz after that it can be boring already.
During our vacation we managed to visit Cairo, taste carting and Moto-Safari excursion. But about this I'll write later. So don't walk away so far ) The interesting is just starting...

Friday!!!

2007-06-15T18:09:00.000+02:00

Hooo... At last this hot working week finished. Before my vacation my boss decided to kill me with quantity of work. And today, the day of leaving, my mind hardly realize what it suppose to think about - still think about what job I left at work and how they gonna work without me ) Only after we left the car at parking and where walking home with husband I felt some kind of the beginning of my vacation. So now I have just 4 hours to fix myself and pack my bags. So in 4 hours I call for taxi and go to railway station up to Moscow, and tomorrow 3pm we have flight. So guys I'm gonna miss my blog and my readers, but I'll be back soon and promise to share all my emotions about Egypt ) I'm short of time!!!! Buy-buy! :-)

Perfect partner

2007-06-14T17:16:00.000+02:00

I always preferred men much older than me... And I think I'm not the only girl who think this way. First of all my dad is 7 years older my mom, and watching there relationship I wanted to have the same in my future family. Secondly I got used to my dad care that hardly could imagine another treatment to me from guys.
So when I was 14 years old I was so much complexed that I haven't kissed with a guy serious way yet :) And I considered that my first kiss I could present just to a guy who will not ashame me somehow cuz I didn't know how to do that. So for that process I chose a guy who was 5 years older than me. At that age it big difference, u know. Of cause I liked him a lot at that time, but today I realize that it's not even my first love. But for "first kiss" I chose right person cuz he was life experienced enough and also so far away from talks behind my back and all this teens shit.
When I was 19 years old a serious happened to me, but this time a men was 35 years old. I loved when other people payed attention to us seeing this age difference. After that I had many friends and admires (guys) who where minimum 10 years older than me and I loved being in there company cuz usually they reminded me my father's treatment. But after all I started realizing, that all that men in spite of there status and money, experience and treatment, don't have something that have younger guys - some kind of "life energy". They chained to me and where living by me. At the beginning all this luxury and outstanding our friendship was interesting for me, but I started getting tired. When I saw another couples who where the same age with each other the way they smiled and spend time, they loved the same music and had the same interests, they lived active sport life but not spending all the time eating in a restaurant even in a good one - I just woke up. So now I know one thing - relationship (i'm not talking about if u'r married already!!! just relations - close friends, admires, lovers) with a man who much older than u (more than 10 years) are good just for experience but not worth spending ur time for a long.
Now I'm much happy with my husband who is just 8 years older than me - but in spite of that we look at the same direction in everything (almost everything) :-)
p.s. and this respectful treatment, full of love and care, which many girls dream about, depends not on age, but person himself.

Perfect day scheduling

2007-06-11T18:12:00.000+02:00

I think everyone sometimes dreams. Everyone wish to be surrounded with luxury without paying for it with loosing health and friends, getting stress and loneliness. But yesterday while doing manicure in the evening (it's Sunday and I always do all these "girls things" Sunday evening for following week) I's dreaming about perfect
scheduling for myself. So here it is:

5 am -5.30 am: to wake up from hands masseur who'd have the key from my apartment and who opens the door himself and early in the morning would come to wake me up. It's so beautiful to wake up like that!

5.30 - 6.00 am: fresh morning coffee and leaving apartment

6.00 - 7.00 am: visiting swimming pool, morning training in a gym, or morning yoga classes which help u to feel urself the whole day fresh, active and self-confident. It's good to visit group classes which help u not to be lazy, but the group suppose to be from just couple people when u can enjoy company, a little bit atmosphere of competition (but a little bit!) and at the same time space in a room.

7.00 - 7.30 am: light breakfast an a French style - a cup of strong coffee without sugar, a tasteful kruasan with gem, reading a morning newspaper or listening news on TV.

7.30 - 9.00 am: visiting saloon, where anybody will make me hair style and make up. It's so great when anybody work at ur beauty! ) Actually it's hard to fix ur hair by urself. So a professional will do it much better. Also it's one more reason to feel urself in a luxury.

9.00am - 1.00pm: 2.00pm - 5.00pm: working hard, solving problems, meetings with partners, making appointments, preparing documents.

1.00-2.00pm: having dinner in a good restaurant girlfriends, talking about women things and sex, discussing plans for weekend, sharing problems at job, dreaming about vacation together, remembering some diets and receipts, giving advices about shopping and shops addresses, discussing men and flirting with another waiter )

6.00pm - 8.00pm: visiting SPA saloon, where u can stay alone and forget about all stress u had during the day, where all peaces pf ur body relax and enjoy taking care of urself. After have light dinner, or instead of saloon light shopping, or gym, or solarium, meeting with beauty master. So it will depend on my mood.

9.00pm - 10.00pm: romantic evening with my husband - light supper for him (for me just fruit), discussing previous day and sharing problems, making mutual plans for "tomorrow" and of cause - making beautiful love , full of passion and fire. Being honest - I adore him! After we'll get tired after long and deep ) sex - falling asleep...

Oh, that's I dream about. So here I face not only with money problem, but working time of such saloons, gyms, and swimmings.

Fashion Night

2007-06-10T16:59:00.000+02:00

I was waiting for this weekend so much cuz it's the last one before my leaving for Egypt for vacation. So I was planning to stay home this weekend and to pack my bags. But on Friday my husband brought two invitations for Fashion Party which was promised to be interesting and something unusual for Minsk. The guy who gave us these invitations told us there will be fashion performance with naked girls on stage in a national shoes called "valenki" which usually people wear in a village at winter. But designers styled them somehow. So after work on Friday we went there. All this meeting was organized in a National Beauty School where models take classes. So my mood was not so good at the beginning: 1) I was confused what to put on (it's fashion party so i had choice - or to feel comfortable or to look good, so i choose something medium); 2) i was tired after work, especially my husband who was driving the whole day and i felt so sorry about him and for my asking him to stay he was refusing cuz he promised me this party; 3) and i knew that we'll be there alone we didn't know anybody there. But we went.
So in general we liked it. There where good looking and glamor people, mostly up to 25-30, girls where different for any taste ) But over there they proposed such a sour champaign which i don't like (i prefer half sweet) and pineapple. The room was too tight for so many people and no conditions! It's so hot there that people tried to go out all the time. There where so many photographers and journalists, so it's hard to see anything, especially shoes. Not good light performance and too loud music, but as far as we didn't have any plans for evening we didn't regret about coming there. It was going to be disco there but we didn't feel like staying there in that hot room.

Rope course

2007-06-09T08:30:00.000+02:00

Couple weeks ago I was at Rope course with colleges from job. Our boss organized that for making more friendly atmosphere in company between workers (though relationships are very good between us anyway). Besides he had a birthday and decided to celebrate it at nature. So it took us 1 day. We met around 9 in the morning up to 6pm. So as soon as we came there we were divided to 2 teams and went to competition. All tasks consisted with rope - to pass it without touching. Rather interesting, and they call it Business training which help to trust ur partner, and develop team mentality. So here'r some photos:

Starbucks coffee

2007-06-07T20:14:00.000+02:00

One of the things I miss in NY is all this comfortable cafes where u can go in the morning just to take coffee "to go" before work, u can go there at lunch time to have coffee with cake and relax a little bit reading a newspaper or even u can go there in the evening for a date with a girl who u don't know well! And for all this things u can visit the same cafe!

What i love also in NY cafe - the opportunity to get coffee in a comfortable cup "to go", even in a car it's easy to drive and drink coffee. Unfortunately in Belarus (where I live) the only place u can buy coffee "to go" it's McDonald's, and it's only 5 of them in Minsk. So going (driving) to work without coffee makes me remind Starbucks.

Bath

2007-06-03T14:38:00.000+02:00

I think that taking a bath is one of the best ways stress after hard working day to go away. It's so pleasant to relax there, with candle light and soap bubbles with a glass of cold juice or champaign or with a cup of coffee with ice cream. Also to turn on a light music in a lounge style. In this case u should do everything to make ur body, mind and soul to relax. Also it's good to use aroma oils.
So run a warm bath and ensure the door and windows are closed. When the tub is sufficiently filled, add up to 10 drops of essential oil to the water, circulating it throughout. As the oil is moved, the scent will rise with the steam of the water.

Now get in, take your time, and enjoy the wonderful aroma while you soak!

Recipe for a Relaxing and Calming Bath:

* 2 drops Lavender
* 2 drops Bergamot
* 2 drops Cedarwood

Recipe to relieve Nervousness:

* 6 drops Geranium
* 4 drops Basil

Recipe for Insomnia:

* 4 drops Chamomile
* 2 drops Lavender
* 2 drops Neroli
* 2 drops Marjoram

Recipe for an Energizing Bath:

* 3 drops Rosemary
* 2 drops Lemon
* 2 drops Frankincense

Types of candles

2007-06-03T11:31:00.001+02:00

I love candles, as many people i think. I use candles for atmosphere, for sex, for meditation. Every time when I visit this kind of shops I go crazy there - i wish to buy everything there!!! And as far as they are not so cheap, I feel so sorry that can't afford to buy everything I want (everything in a shop!). But I remember one time I was in such a shop and really got confused cuz of such a big variety. So today I decided to public that and may be it'll help anybody in choice in a shop )

Candles come in virtually every shape and size imaginable. The following terms are used to describe common candle styles.

TAPER: A slender candle – typically 6 to 18 inches high and sometimes called a dinner candle – designed to be held securely upright by a candle holder.

PILLAR: A free-standingcandle, usually having a diameter of 3 inches or more, and one or more wicks. Despite the name, pillars or column candles can be round, square, hexagonal, etc. Although they stand on their own, they must be burned on a heat-resistant candle holder.

CONTAINER, JAR OR FILLED CANDLE: A candle that is poured when manufactured into a glass, metal or ceramic container specifically designed to hold the wax and withstand the heat of the burning candle.

VOTIVE: A small cylindrical candle, usually about 1½ inches in diameter and 2 or 2½ inches high, designed to be placed in a "cup" or votive holder to hold the liquefied wax that results from burning. Votives were originally produced as white unscented candles for religious ceremonies; they are now available in many colors and scents.

GEL CANDLE: A transparent-type candle made primarily from gelled mineral oils or gelled synthetic hydrocarbons. “Soft” or quasi-rigid gels are poured into a container to maintain the candle’s shape. "Hard" gel candles have a consistency suitable for free-standing candles.Decorative wax items are frequently suspended within a gel candle to produce a special visual effect.

TEALIGHT: A small, cylindrical, filled candle -- usually about 1 inch in diameter and 1½ inches high -- often poured into a metal holder.

Meditation

2007-06-03T11:18:00.000+02:00

Yoga meditation guidance was described thousands of years ago by ancient and mystical sages. Since civilized societies began to emerge, meditation has evolved into a structured practice. Although there is not a lot of recorded information dealing with the history of meditation, its roots can be traced back to ancient times.

Some meditation experts suggest thinking of your mind as a glass of muddy water and meditation helps bring clarity. Many forms of meditation result in the clearing of one’s mind. Meditation promotes a sense of calm and heightened awareness. And that’s the real benefit of meditation: teaching your mind to accept whatever thoughts, feelings and sensations come along, without judging them or yourself.

Scientific studies show that the regular practice of meditation can be a powerful healing tool. Meditation helps reduce stress and anxiety, lower blood pressure, and improve concentration, clarity and creativity. Additionally, many studies have shown meditation can significantly lower stress, chronic pain and anxiety.

From the dawn of time, meditation has been a vital part of self transformation and holistic health. Many physicians consider meditation a key element of an integrated health program.

While scientists are studying whether meditation may afford meaningful health benefits, they are also looking at how it may do so. Researchers say that meditation works at least in part by lowering your body’s responsiveness to the stress hormone norepinephrine. But meditation interrupts that flood of stress chemicals, so you don’t feel on guard or tense. As your entire being becomes absorbed in meditation, every stress and strain of daily life will fall from your shoulders. Through meditation, one can cultivate a wonderful inner quiet that will melt away stress and nervousness.

In general, meditation produces a reduction in multiple biological systems, resulting in a state of relaxation. Studies of brain physiology during meditation have most frequently employed the electroencephalograph (EEG) for the measurement of brain wave electrical activity. During meditation, the brain’s activity, as mapped by an EEG, alters significantly. These results reveal that meditation can have a deep and very profound influence on the heart and its activity.

The most well-known brain waves evident during many kinds of meditation are called alpha waves. The scans provide remarkable clues about what goes on in the brain during meditation. Although study results vary, there were similar findings: meditation lowers bodily metabolism, slows brain waves, and induces relaxation. Those most deeply involved in the meditation showed the greatest changes in brain structure.

This is accomplished as Meditation brings the brainwave pattern into an alpha state, which is a level of consciousness that promotes the healing state.

The researchers observed that the variability of beat-to-beat heart rate was directly affected by meditation. These results reveal that meditation can have a deep and very profound influence on the heart and its activity. If meditation is practiced regularly, these beneficial changes become relatively permanent.

One of many benefits of meditation is that it opens your mind to new ideas. What is more important is the acquisition of the purity and concentration of mind in moments of meditation. Purity of the mind achieved during meditation is essential to gain access to Higher Self.

Minsk style

2007-05-29T18:53:00.001+02:00

Italian cafe "Grip" in the center of Minsk

One of the squares

One of the Universities

One of the most popular park in Minsk.

The square of Victory (one of the center for making appointments)

National Library

One day off

2007-05-29T18:18:00.000+02:00

It was Sunday and honestly I don't like this day of week cuz next day is Monday. On Sundays i usually don't know what to do - to relax (but u can't make party up to the night) or to start work (psychological). So in that Sunday i decided just to do what i really want. When i woke up i felt like going somewhere to drink coffee. Usually we do it in the evening but i said why not? So it was around 10 in the morning, not many people in the city and we (my husband and me) went to MacDonald's. Spent there around 2 hours and relaxed under the sunshine outside, we fed the birds there and went to walk around the park. Few people and cars, nature - everything is green - and fresh air, no plans - all this gave us the feeling of freedom. We were moving somewhere just by impulse. We meditated a little bit on the bench in the park and then kept going. We decided to go to bookshop. I was interested to find a book about "Tantra sex" but they didn't have it. Well, without long thinking we went to the movie on "Spider man" (it's my husband wish) on kids time (14.00) and in half an hour after the film started we left. I didn't like it (& either my husband). We came home tired and fresh. So sometimes it's very useful just to put away all ur plans for weekend (cleaning, washing, cooking etc) as many women have and just do wherever ur soul wish. )

Still complain?...

2007-05-26T15:01:00.000+02:00

"U still complain? Observe around u and be thankful for all u have in this life. We are lucky. We have much more than we really need in content."

Thinking about people who live in Africa very poor and sick I have some questions for myself...

Actually don't like such material cuz can't look at it without tears. U know i really share the opinion of Buddha who said that "life is suffering" and all the time thinking about sense of life and philosophy I get depressed cuz I get confused sometimes, Many years ago I opened the sense of life for myself - it's gathering love for God, to born this feeling inside and save it as much as possible. But sometimes to feel love for Life and world becomes difficult. So that's why i get depressed after such photos, cuz i can't help this people and they r dieing.

But sometimes I think about material world and think that i really don't have strong wishes which would help me to reach something serious in life - career, more money etc. U understand what i mean. So i'm satisfied with what i have for 100% and i feel sometimes that it'd be better if i really needed something (wishes). I just control my wishes for 100 % and if I can't have something I tell myself that I'm happy and without that thing. So it's subject to think about...

How to feel happy with what u have and still be a little bit unsatisfied which will push u to be active in material life to reach something???...

Cuz it's a fact that a man do something only if he needs something - i mean u should be in a crisis situation full of needs and only then ur mind start work faster and u find the opportunity to change situation. When u were born in a rich family and u have everything u want u don't need to do something herself, u have it already! But the less u have from birth the more chance u have in life to achieve something. So how to feel harmony and love inside and at the same time to be aggressive (in a working sense) and unsatisfied to be active?...

Nostalgie

2007-05-21T19:34:00.000+02:00

I'm from Belarus, Minsk. I was lucky to visit some countries such as England, France, Germany, Bulgaria, Ukraine, Poland, Turkey. I've been there just for couple days, in some of them I spent my vacation. But 3 years ago I've been to New York. I came there through student program (at that time I was studying in University) "Work&Travel" and spent there 3 months. It's a great feeling - when u can earn urself, without parents support. U can live there, u can feed urself, work and have fun at the same time. I liked my country (and still love), but all my American friends used to advice me to stay there and go to college, but when I remembered the face of my parents who stayed at railway station and where crying when I was leaving to Moscow to the airport, I couldn't stay. The most interesting feelings during these 3 months i had: first month I was very excited and I was happy to be there but wanted to come back to my country; second months I started hesitating - and my poor mom was all the time worrying if i come back or not - she even couldn't advice me what to do; the third month i decided to leave but an awful pain and regret was in my heart cuz I can't do another way. I just have to come back cuz of my parents, my university...
So all my friends told me that it's my last chance to stay there and pushed me not to do a mistake, cuz I'll never get visa again.
So I left. I missed everything there but didn't regret.
Another summer came and again I was lucky and got visa. But this year was everything different. In my country I left my future husband. I was enjoying being in NY, I fell in love with this city, but I didn't have a moment about thinking to stay there, cuz I missed my (that time) boyfriend a lot. I left NY 2d time and now I'm in Belarus, married with my boyfriend and we'r very happy. I like my country a lot. But last time, when summer is coming I see in my dreams how I come to NY the 3d time. I see NY in my dreams. If anybody would ask me if I regret i didn't stay - no, i don't regret, i just feel sorry I had such circumstances which all the time made me come back. Now I play Green Card with my husband and still I'm not sure if I wish to leave here everything including parents and my status (which doesn't give me anything), my friends and all that 5 years of studying here and diplom and to start everything from the beginning. I know just that I miss NY, and in my dreams I come back there sometimes...

Divorces

2007-05-17T19:11:00.000+02:00

I remember my teen age when my mom told me that the main condition of happy family life and relations is respect. I didn't understand it at that time. Now, when I got married and looking around at my friend's marriage it seems to me my mother's words are true for 100%... I'm only 23 and I'm only 1 year in a marriage and almost 3 years in relationship with my husband and of cause I'm not experienced in family life enough, but I'm enough experienced in relations and the fact that all men I ever knew are my friends now and we still respect each other gives me the right to write this.
So the main (one of the main) things of happy relations is respect. What's that? Before in the time of my grands it was associated with: restraint in emotions, behavior and sex, to say You instead you, to go by the name, etc. But when the "free" time of XXI century came, youth doesn't control the manner of talk to each other. Again looking at my friends couples, I see the way they talk:
1. She allows herself to criticize Him in front of friends, even more - His parents, she compares Him with another man in front of people and shows his disadvantages.
2. So He does the same - he discusses her weight in front of her girlfriends; makes compliments to her girl-friends trying to show her that she cooks for example worth.
And what's more awful each of them thinks that the more he/she will disrespect another one, the better he/she will be looked in front of people, something like "I'm such a good one, and I'm so unhappy cuz I'm much better than my partner and people should feel sorry about my "poor" destiny and tell my parter how much he/she should appreciate me!". My God, this village people!!!
Instead of showing how lucky I'm cuz God sent me this person and he/she is with me, and show out the advantages, they enjoy disrespecting the partner. I hear sometimes as men call their sexual partner or girlfriend "bitch". That I can't understand even if they have just sex with them. So people lost respect. Of cause here's lack of culture, background, aesthetic attitude to life in general. That's why I think young people, getting marriage, are doing that being lead by sexual passion. When passion is finishing they don't have true love which consist of respect.
Here's eastern wisdom:
The attraction of minds burns respect...
The attraction of souls burns friendship...
The attraction of bodies burn passion...
The union of 3 ingredients: Respect, Friendship and Passion - burns LOVE...

p.s. I never found the definition of LOVE better than this one.
p.s. I have all this 3 ingredients in relations with my husband and today I feel the most happy person. And wish everybody has the same. :-)

Women' Jealousy

2007-05-13T10:56:00.000+02:00

I'm a very jealous person. Even more awful - i want the person to be just mine. I wanna him to see just me, to breath with me, to live in me. Brrrr!.... Awful! I know that. But can't do anything. I wanna be not even loved (it's not enough), adored by my partner!!! According to all issues of men psychology I supposed to be alone the whole life, cuz men are afraid of such woman. But when men are so jealous - woman should be tolerant and accept that as a norm. Well, but my happiness is that i can control my feelings somehow, not to show that (that's why I have the best men as a husband now and besides I never had problems in relations since 19 years old). So I live according to the principal: or I give all of myself to the partner Or i give nothing (the relations shouldn't be started - I'm alone). So I can do everything for man just only in a case if he'll give me back just a small-small thing... his soul :) (like a small devil). But, men, don't worry, my partners and ex one live happily now, they are in a good health and feel sorry that they lost me one day. Cuz being objective I really give all myself to the partner. So my jealousy is coming out as (not scandals, God save!): if i notice that my partner doesn't adore me when I need it (every one has sentimental moments) I getting very cold. In my mind I feel very lonely and I push away the partner. All my love and warmth disappears somewhere. But physically everything the same. But emotionally the partner feels it. I kiss him, i can embrace him, prepare breakfast or something like this. But everywhere in the air here's "winter"... cold... Probably many guys, reading that, feel so sorry about my husband (calm down guys, he'll be saved). And what's more interesting sometimes I love these moments, cuz If before in period of "summer" I couldn't imagine how I would take the pain if a man leave me, so in these moments of "winter" I feel power to live alone very good. I'm getting a very big power and confident. And it makes me stronger, when in my heart only LOVE for myself is left. That's great. After that when my mood changes and I'm not so sentimental, I come back to usual relations and forget about these minutes. Notice: no scandals in relations, just some changes in my soul. Actually the partner can behave as usual, but my mood is very changeable. Of cause I'd love to have the same mood every time about my partner, it'll me easier for me, but from another side it's boring. I think that to be more calm about relations I should love a little bit less. It means I should love myself more. But I can't live like that. Everything or nothing - my stupid principal. I'm honestly write about myself. I know it's not the best feature of mine, but believe me - in "summer" period it's hard to find woman better than me :)
p.s. For woman who a jealous as me:
1. don't make scandals. If u can't accept something or ur tolerance has finished - just leave.
2. don't shantage ur partner with sex or things u usually do about the house (preparing meals)
3. don't talk about problems with ur parents and girlfriends (for ur own good)
4. just start LOVE urself more

Feelings after sex

2007-05-12T18:09:00.000+02:00

As many lovers we can have - as different feelings we can have after sex.

Physically all feelings can be divided just into 2 parts:
1. u can feel tired and lazy after sex
2. u can be full of energy.

It actually depends on the energy exchange of both partners. And here are different practice and methods to share energy with ur partner and to save it. One of the most popular practice for "sex for health" is Tantra. But unfortunately I can't fond of it cuz of lack of information. The more energy we have - the more healthy we feel. Freid used to say that here's just one kind of life energy - sexual energy, it means that the source of energy is in sexual excitement. I can't totally agree, but may be I just don't know something, anyway I'm not a scientist as him. So during sex a person loose a lot of energy, it's fact. So to spend the energy one should have it before. That's why one of my principals (to have sex only with person who I LOVE) is based on it. I take energy from my Love to share it during the sex with the partner not to feel emptiness of strengths after sex. Of cause here's much more different factors influencing on our physical condition after sex - time, weather, place, feelings, stress etc. But again i repeat - mostly it depends on energy exchange - our relations with partner, thoughts and attitude to this process. To "give" - not to "get"...

Psychologically...
From one side here's more difficult, from another - much easier. How many times, feeling uncontrolled passion before, after having sex, u felt urself so lonely and empty? Why? Again 2 reasons: or u didn't need that partner at the beginning and just couldn't resist to passion OR ur partner didn't meet ur expectations and left u without attention after sex. So here is more difficult cuz u never know how ur partner will behave after sex, and easier - cuz all this feelings are inside u and u can control them changing the attitude to circumstances. When the relations between partners are steady and strong, of cause everyone wants to be covered in an embrace of the partner in a cozy, warm blanket, feeling a hot breathing of partner somewhere on a neck, hearing some whisper of pleasant words in ears, and be covered with small-small light kisses in chicks. That's perfect psychological situation after sex. But if u don't know the partner long and after sex he or she doesn't give u the warmth u need, to my mind it's better just to get up and to leave. Why? Cuz having done that u'll feel much more confident and not so lonely. Did u notice that sometimes when something goes wrong in relations with ur partner, being in the same room together u feel so awfully lonely. And opposite - being alone u don't feel lonely. That's why to stay with a person for who u was just for sex and u hoped for some more serious relations will put u in depressed feeling, disappointed, u'll start blaming urself for another mistake u did, and more awful feeling disgusting about urself. That u can't let happen.

So and I have one question for u guys: what would u like ur partner to do after sex (to prepare a drink, coffee, massage, etc)?

Eirikur Hauksson - Valentine Lost (Iceland)

2007-05-12T15:38:00.001+02:00

I'll let the music play while love lies softly bleeding
In heavy hands - on shadow lands
As thunder clouds roll in sunset is receding
No summerwine - no Valentine

A tiger trapped inside a cage
An actor on an empty stage
Come see the show
Rock and roll can heal your soul
When broken hearts lose all control

Some rivers still run dry and jungles burn to embers
Gold autumn days - must fade to gray
There is a reason why a haunted man remembers
One frozen night - his darkest day

A tiger trapped inside a cage
An actor on an empty stage
Come see the show
Rock and roll can heal your soul
When broken hearts lose all control

A passion killed by acid rain
A rollercoaster in my brain
But how would you know
In your satin silk and lace
Another time another place

A tiger trapped inside a cage
An actor on an empty stage
Come see the show
Rock and roll can heal your soul
When broken hearts lose all control

A love that loose and painted black
A train stuck on a broken track
I'll let it go
Rock and roll has healed my soul
The stage is set on with the show

Eurovision 2007

2007-05-12T14:11:00.000+02:00

The 1/2 final passed yesterday and here's my opinion. In general i liked the level of music and pop singers in this year. But some results about final put me in shock.
Who i liked most:
Iceland was very interesting song, full of drama, great music and lyrics. And i'm really pissed of that it didn't enter final. Last year this fucking Lordi took 1st place, Bulgaria, Albania, Portugal(!!!) entered the final, and Iceland was left without attention. My God where's the ur ears, Eurovision! Well, his appearance is not attractive, but SONG!!!

Serbia also to my mind showed professionalism. This year so many sexy girls with long legs and not context lyrics that when i saw Serbia i felt warm inside. It was very intelligent show, with taste, very serious song. I loved it. Such a great voice, so natural!

Georgia also was not ordinary. Very interesting song, which reminded me Bjork-style. Very hard to copy that song, and vocal was pretty good.

But for example Portugal surprised me - where did come, girl with such song - to the beach or where? Nice song, but not for Eurovision! Turkey also. Turkey has such a great music potential, but this year they sent a guy, who looks like Dieter Bohlen from Modern talking and Ricky Martin at the same time. Not impressive song at all! But they have so many great songs!!!! I can't understand. Bulgaria was trying to copy Enigma style. All this is good, but for eurovision u should choose powerful and magnetic song! May be I'm wrong, we gonna see. Poland - nice song and nice vocal, she was good on a stage, her worrying was not seen. I'd love to dance with this song at disco club, mix R'B & jazz, but i can't say that it deserves 1st place. Well, we gonna see.

Today i'm gonna worry about Belarus of cause. I think that this year we have all chances to show good results. Dima looks like real man, not as gay or transfestit,with good voice and very bright, dramatic and expressive song. But in eurovision u never know. Hardly can say anything about Ukraine with her joke pop-singer. It's really stupid joke from Ukraine, probably they hope that Europe has good sense of humor. As to Russia - nice song, nice girls, i liked it personally a lot, but they'r not experienced enough. And I'm afraid that for us, Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, this song sounds as something new, but Europe had enough the same songs, with a little bit bitchy, independent, very sexy girls. Well, we have just one thing to do - to wait for final and enjoy it, and not be upset in any case...

2 men+ 1 woman?...

2007-05-08T18:41:00.000+02:00

I told u guys my experience & thoughts about situation when in sex participate 2 girls & one man. So it's time to discuss opposite situation. In this case i think that the thoughts to involve another guy in sex mostly times belong to women actually, but they very seldom say that aloud to their partner. They just behave the way to push their men to propose this to them. Though here's many different types of relationships between men&women, so it's very hard to say for 100% who's is mostly initiator :)

My personal opinion: in GENERAL IT CAN BE interesting for experience (but sometimes during sex with my husband i hardly can imagine how i'd deal with 2 guys and would carry on this if i'm satisfied with my husband much more than i even need), but only in a case when u r:

1. far away from home (in different country) when u'r sure u ll never meet that guys any more (just in case);

2. got acquaintance with two guys-friends at the same time and had the same relations with each of them

3. u know them not long time but already can trust them.

So as u see it's very hard to find right partners for this process ;)

But i remember couple years ago i was dating with one guy, and we had nice relations and i appreciated them a lot. So after some time he proposed me to have sex with another guy (attention! it was a men, who proposed that!) but as far as i didn't want our relations changes after that i refused. We broke up after some time, and sometimes i regret i didn't try that. But also. When u love somebody (like now i love my husband) i love to belong just to him, i love to show that in front of other guys who can flirt with me. I get some kind of satisfaction so i hardly can imagine myself being shared by husband with another man. Also it's gonna be just sex, but i have the principle to have sex only with the person I love (i wrote about that).

But in any case the relations will change after that. And it's very risk full for loving couples. The relations can change as to better side - u'll open something new in a partner and u'll start to trust him more, as to worse - u'll not like that and not be able to forget ur partner in that time, ur memory will not leave u in harmony or u'l just be jealous. So one should to risk when he has nothing to loose i think (even with husband or wife, when the relations came to the end just to refresh them any way, but not as many young couples preferring free sexual relations being married!). According to forums where that subject is often discussed many couples broke after that. And everyone should understand where this freedom in sexual life leads love to...

Ur choice - career or family?...

2007-05-08T17:18:00.000+02:00

Today was the most busy working-day in my accounting life.... I'm squeezed as a lemon actually. But after work, analyzing my day, i catch myself at interesting reflection... But I'll start from the beginning.

I work in a company as an accountant. One month ago our Chief Accountant left the company and I stayed alone. Nobody showed me anything, so I had to learn everything just by myself. But our company is small and actually i didn't like the conditions over there. So i also told my boss that i'm gonna leave, but we gave each other time: for him to find another one; for me - to find another job. So it one month passed since our talk. It's considered we leave each other May, 30. So me and my husband were making plans for vacations for June, cuz i was thinking to have vacation for June and then since July to find another job.

We decided to visit Egypt. So i was corresponding with my friend from Egypt about our meeting there, we were searching the best proposals of trips in Internet during the months, we visited even the travel agency in different city about that business. I bought swimsuit, spent 5 hours for that! And in general I haven't been vacation for 2 years already. At last we didn't have honeymoon with my husband since we got married. So all this pleasant troubles made our mood better.

But today my boss proposed me to stay and he gonna increase my salary. Well, i would like to stay, cuz in my position (i don't have experience enough) it's not bad salary. But he just can't find another accountant who would satisfy him (just as a person) and our office is situated far away from city. I asked him about the possibility to take vacation in June as I planed, but his answer was more "no" than "yes" (he's in hurry and we didn't finish).

So now I think what i suppose to do. I've never thought that this global question as what to choose - family or career - I will ever be deciding. I always thought that I'll deal with both that things easy. But now I understand that sometimes circumstances doesn't let u do it easy. So i just really do not know what to do. I understand my boss' position (he can't leave the only accountant for vacation) and just don't want to change my family plans, especially if it concerns my husband and his time also.

What to do? What to choose?...

Two girls and one guy???....

2007-05-06T14:29:00.000+02:00

I always had one principle in sexual relations - to have sex with anybody i should love him... And still i think this way. As far as i also think that it's possible to LOVE just one person in one moment (it doesn't matter it can be the period of one hour or one year or the whole life - u can name it as LOVE), so I never could afford myself to have sex with two guys at the same time. But i wanna tell the story which happened to me couple years ago when I was single and was a student.
I had a friend (a girl) who I knew rather well. Once I came to her in the evening and thought to stay at her for a night. So we had good mood and wanted to have fun. We were thinking about where to go and with who. So it happened that her friend (a guy, actually her lover) was in a company with us alone. So we went out together good way, smoked some pots and were laughing until our stomach was aching. So we came to her house rather late around 2-3 pm, we drank couple cocktails or something like this and i felt very sleepy and couldn't wait for his leaving to go to bed. What's my surprise when i knew that he stays and i'll have to share one bed with my girlfriend (it's ok) and him (it's shock for me). So being a student i didn't have money to spend them on a taxi (in a case if u don't like something u'r free to leave) and it's too late that public transport was not working. So i had to stay.
So laying together i was trying to fall asleep but they started to make love. I got up and went to the kitchen. I was sitting there, smoking, and feeling so awful, when they call me and invited me to join them. It's was the second shock time at that evening. I understand the position of a guy in that case, but didn't expect that from my girlfriend. So i said no (even being drunk I had some stop signs inside me), but they felt very relaxed and were having sex just in front of me! One moment i thought about to join them just to have experience but I couldn't. I felt disgusted. I was remembering the scene from porno movies which exited me back then and couldn't believe that it's so disgusted in real life especially if u'r witness of this. I thought that it can turn on somehow, but no! I don't know why had all that feeling at that time - cuz of my life principles, or i didn't like the guy or my girlfriend enough as a sexual partner i mean, or something else. I'm sure here are some people including girls who would get excited on my position and would join them. Or who knows may be i'd join the couple if on their place were different people - i really don't know. I just say about what i felt at that moment...
Now, remembering that, honestly i'm glad it happened to me, just now i know what kind a feeling i can have. But repeat one more time - it's just individual case -exactly that guy and that girl - and i had this kind of emotions. But I also never know if the situation would happen to me again with different people what i would feel and do.
p.s. I'm still friend of that girl,

Oh, Sunday...

2007-05-06T08:16:00.000+02:00

Today is Sunday and the thought about that makes the mood better. It's so pleasant to open the eyes and see the sunshine out of the window... to pull all the body laying in a bad, being lazy to yawn... and after all to say to urself - A GREAT THINGS R WAITING FOR U, BABY, WAKE UP! - and kissed husband to get up...
I love these days, when nobody hurries u up. After u get up to walk to the bathroom to wash ur face and to take a warm big man bathroom-robe and put on big funny slippers with cow head :-) To open the window in a bedroom to feel fresh air and to go to the kitchen to prepare very strong coffee with lemon without sugar with a small piece of 80% chocolate. After that to light the first sigaret and feel urself the boss of ur own life. This feeling comes in working days very seldom cuz all the time u have to do something for somebody, u don't have time even to think about that, u r slave of ur boss, ur job, circumstances, wishes of other people, etc. But when u off - u have this kind of freedom which u the whole week miss so much about.
In these days u stay alone with urself and u can devote all ur time to ur hobbies, to the things u love to do, just to have a rest.
Actually I always thought (and even now do) that having 2 days off i should spend them active way - shopping, friends, parties, movies, cafes or restaurants, clubs, some sport activities etc. While my husband prefer to stay home and do nothing. But writing this page i just asked myself - what makes me to move all the time - my need for communication with people and friends, the thoughts that if i do nothing i miss something in my life OR the fair to stay alone with myself when different thoughts about my life comes? Honestly guys, can't answer now. But probably now i started understanding my husband's position about spending time at weekend.
I'd love to know how u guys spend ur offs? R u trying to do all things including fun during working week and be lazy at offs OR u just work 5 days so hard and fix all private things at offs?

Bisexual relations

2007-05-03T21:58:00.000+02:00

I'd like to talk about lesbians. Last time that type of sexual relations is getting more spread. But I'd like to talk not about those who r proved lesbians, but about the girls who r interested in relations with men, but still had or has any relations with girls. They r not lesbians, they r just bisexual experienced. Not long ago I heard Angelina Jolia had bisexual experience. And what's the more interesting the society except that right way. But if any girl says that she doesn't need men but women - that fact the society can't except. That's strange fact! One of famous Russian pop group comes to my mind - Tatu. They became popular very fast and i guess that happened because of their image of young teen lesbians.

Here are different opinions about that subject and reaction between men and women. Every girl I think has different emotions trying to imagine herself making love with another woman. But anyway i think the main factor which attracts to this relations with girls another girls is curiosity.

But personally me - I catch myself looking at photos or porn moves with lesbians that it excites me, that's truth. Would I like to try it? Well, let me keep it in a secret... )))

Destiny's joke

2007-05-03T15:01:00.000+02:00

I was a cherry student girl, when decided to visit USA, NY second time. During the 1st year when i've been there i managed to make some friends, but lots of them were just boolshitting guys. I mean that to invite me for a drink in a cafe - no problem, but when u really face some troubles in life - all of them escape as air ))) So, probably i had just one guy friend, who actually managed to save me from other guys attraction and to help me somehow with advice, with american pchycology. So when i came back to Minsk (Belarus) we were keeping in touch with each other. But after half a year we started to enoying each other u know. He wanted to see me a lot, but at the same time i knew that if i come back there and will accapt his help - I'm gonna be a slave. SO....
So i applied for a student work and travel programm, i was making all documents and that programm costed not cheap by the way - 3000$. So being tired from total control of my friend even from NY being in another continent!!!! and some kind of jeliousy (on which my american friend didn't have any right), i decided for myself that I'm gonna come back to NY but he shouldn't know about that. And I wanted to find some friends from NY who just could help me to find appartment and job. So i visited couple sights in Minsk. And my mom told me why i don't find a friend also in Minsk? Well, i thought, why not? So i chose Minsk as a location link and saw a photo of a serious guy, blond one, in a black suit, with notebook in the office, looking mature and experienced. Well, i's interested in him. As far as i was hurring to look for anybody from NY, i didn't have my photo in Internet, and actually i didn't expect him to reply me. So i wrote him just couple words, something like "halo, my name's Anastasiya, i liked ur page a lot and also ur photo, my tel. number is..." As far as i didn't have computer at home that time, i didn't want to have long correspondance, that's why i left my tel. number just in a 1st massage. To correspondance with sms for me was more comfortable.
And 3-4 letters and he called me, we decided to meet. And that's it... I fell in love with him. I thought that the time is passing so fast and i can't catch it! My mind didn't have time realize everything but my body was dong something. U know what i mean. Everything was like in a dream ... We were dating 3 times, we kissed just at a 2nd one. At 3d date i thought i'll go nuts! I felt the fire in him! I felt the fire inside myself. We were kissing in a crowded street full of people, it's winter time and cold, we were trying to embrasse each other as tight as possible. That time i thought i'll start taking clothes off just at winter on the street! The passion was burning us and I thought that if he touch me one more time i'll rape him. But we stopped... That night i couldn't fall asleep long time. I was reminding all details of our date. So next day while talking to him i invited him for a tea ))) And beleive me guys or not - he said NO!!!! )))) Well, i's not offended at all, cuz i saw he's afraid to destroy our relations which just has begun. But as to me i decided that or i'll do this or i'll not sleep many nigts more dreaming about sex with him. He called me back in couple minutes (and believe i knew that) and acxeted my invitation. Of corse we made love, but everything was as if we did it many times, not shy, not nervious.
So it's Sunday. And he stayed. Up to this day) We lived with each other one year, after that got married, and not long ago we celebrated one year since wedding ))) He's the best guy, no - he's an angel who pulled me out from all my friends and dates and outs and all this. He chaned me to himself by loving me a lot )))) So did i ))

Opposites by me

2007-05-03T06:33:00.000+02:00

The following is a list of recruited musical compositions Opposites in the performance by me. Music and words of Mandalay. This Track was written in 2003 and is still missing gather dust on our shelves.

To listen to the compositions of low-quality 64 Kbps select track in Music Box right now.

Download Opposites with Hi-Fi quality 256 Kbps (10 Mb)

Opposites lyrics

I'm look forward to hearing your feedback in the comments...

Falling asleep

2007-05-02T21:34:00.000+02:00

How many times early in the morning, before to get up and go to work, we, being sleepy and lazy, dreaming about coming back home and falling asleep...
So now, when the hard working day is over, before to go to bed, let urself to leave all negative emotions behind u. It's not good to sit at the computer up to deep night and then to fall asleep right away on the table. Ur mind and eyes r not relaxing during the night!!!! So devote urself just couple minutes of relaxation. Turn off the light, take couple candles, u may put on some pleasant soft music... sit in a comfortable position, close ur eyes and start breathing deep. I'm not telling u the technology of meditation, I just propose u the method of sweet dreams. So think only about positive moments of past day, or better imagine: u r a free bird, flying above the ocean.... try to feel some fresh drops of ocean water, and u'r flying as high as u want. And u'r surrounded only with the sky and ocean. Feel the air... feel the water... feel this freedom of ur imagination.... and breath deep... Don't think about future day and plans, don't think about past troubles. Just u'r a free bird. Right here in ur world, right in this moments u'r FREE FROM ANYTHING. And guys, believe me or not, just let urself to try ur imagination, and 10-15 minutes before falling asleep will refresh ur mind and present u such a sweet dream ))) So, have a good dreams )

First sexual experience

2007-05-02T18:14:00.000+02:00

We gonna continue our subject - sexual choice. But now I'd like to discuss what's right age to start sexual relationship. Those, who r still teens gonna be more interested in this subject i guess, but those who r mature and experienced in sex - don't hurry up to close this page, cuz to my mind our first sexual experience influence on the whole future relationship. Being a teen i was looking around to my friends and was solving the problem - should i start or not. How to recognize right person, with who u gonna enjoy and never regret about that? My parents (as many other) all the time were teaching me to be smart girl and save myself only for husband. Up to 17 years old i truly believed them. But at 18 i changed my mind. So i can say that from 14 up to 18 i wanted to try that so much! But God saved me he didn't send me right guy. Once i asked my classmate (a girl) how it's supposed to be to avoid disappointment after sex. So she said: "when u feel that u gonna die right now near this guy if he will not kiss u at least, if u can't control urself and u'r loosing ur mind because of strong passion, and u feel trembling and u don't care where it'll happen, and will u have guys future relations or not, u just want him - that's the sign for u to do that". And U know, i remembered that. I thought in 16 i was ready for sexual relations. I really had deep theoretical knowledges in this field ) but no practice )) But when I became 18 - u know, only after i became more adult, i felt such a strong passion and i felt that i can't stop passion inside me any more - and the important - don't want to do that any more. And actually when u'r really ready as psychological as physical - u can do that and be sure - u'll never regret about that. And may be i'm one of happy person who never regrets about past or i was just lucky to meet the best people - i don't know... So after 18 i told myself that i should feel different kind of relations, love and passion before i get married, and i think now my husband is thankful me for that. U can change lovers as much as u can - but u supposed to learn from relations only in that case they will not dirty ur soul but make it more experience.
Of cause u should prepare to that moment, in a best case everything should be beautiful and romantic. But what's much more important - u should be prepared urself. Never start relations because of ur partner - to hold him near, to please ur partner, because of friend's jokes or talks of ur classmates, never try to risk with ur psychological health to prove anything to anybody. Remember - it's ur life, it's ur emotions and feelings and as u start it, what kind of memories u'll save - u'll save urself from future problems and complexes in future relations with the person who can truly love u...

Sexual choice

2007-05-01T17:07:00.000+02:00

Here are so many different kinds of sexual relationships in the world. Every person choose himself what's is more acceptable for him. Everyone decides in what age to start this "adult" life, with who and how many lovers supposed to be in your bad. So i think that the society divides into 3 parts: 1. those who try to vary their life and to taste everything 2. those who live according to religion and social rules and opinion 3. and those, who live "right" but somewhere deep inside they feel the need to try something new but they are afraid of risk - to risk with steady relationship with her partner, to risk with social status, with harmony in their soul, just afraid to be misunderstood. So and it's normal. Me personally, i would put myself to the 3d category.
I was growing up a "right" girl, i mean that my parents did everything to surround me with the atmosphere of fears and sins. I can't say they r religious people, but when it's comfortable for them - they show me letters in Bible. So before to start "adult" life I was all the time comparing what i've been taught and what i was feeling. It's not easy actually, i needed time to get the harmony with my soul and needs of body. I found lots of answers to my questions, I found probably my personal principals which never let me be sorry about what I did. So let me tell u some of them and I hope it can help anybody to feel happy:
1. if u doubt about "to do this or not to do" - i always thing that more often it's better to be sorry about what u DID then about what u NOT DID. I just think that if all ur inside world whisper u "do", but ur mind stops u because of mental and society rules - so switch off ur mind at this moment cuz it can happen that u gonna be sorry about thats for the rest of ur life.
2. u suppose to love (at least very attracted to) the person to who u allow to get in ur bad. Actually it doesn't matter how strong feelings he has about u, much more important are ur personal feelings, cuz it's ur experience. And don't think about future at that time, it doesn't matter will u continue relations or not. If this guy or girl is already in u bad - just enjoy right here and right now.
3. In sexual relations is very important not to get, but to GIVE. Don't think about urself, think about the partner and u gonna get back all that love and passion u sent to ur partner.
The main thing of attraction to each other is passion. Passion makes ur body to born huge doze of hormones, which make u fly, which make ur heart bit faster. I think everyone once felt the feeling when the fire inside burns everything, when ur hands and all ur body is trembling and u loose orientation where u r, u see just the only person, who's near u, who... breeds the passion... And in these moments u really don't care where to make love - in chic apartment or in the forest or a car. U realize that perhaps u break something (some rules or somebody heart, or ur own principals) but u can't deal with this feeling. U just loose ur mind ) But it's great!!! U start living at this moment! In spite of how many problems u gonna face after all u did - u can't feel sorry. Cuz the value of such moment is huge. So everyone choose himself what kind of memory he gonna have after many years...

Men&Women

2007-04-26T18:47:00.000+02:00

How many examples of unhappy couples we can find in the world. The relations between men & women are as at war. At the beginning of their relations everything is very romantic and beautiful. But after sometime people start hating each other. I've never understood how it happens. I understand that relationships changes through time, the passion is going away, u can fall with somebody else. That I understand. But after 10-15 years of family life, it doesn't matter how many years u lived together, after all this beautiful relations - hating??? No. I don't understand. Hope - never will. I always thought in spite what bad u did to each other - if u wanna break - u should do this nice way, that's my rule.
So how to keep relationship? I'm young yet, but last time I started to remember my grandma's words. She always told me that being in a couple - I should be: 1. tolerant 2. smart 3. and respect the guy. So the same I expect from the guy. Being 16 years old i replied grandma that the guy should this and that: he should love me, he should adore me, help me, carry about me, etc. So I'm free, but the guy is oblige to me. That's the end of any relations. The most important thing - is to love by urself, cuz it's ur own feeling, and it makes u fly. To give, not to get - this the principal of happy couples. Very often couples can put themselves in scandals and arguing, but wherever happen - always watch ur words, what u say, what u do. Never let urself disrespect ur partner. And believe me, if he appriciate ur relations - he will save it. But in spite of guys say that they don't like clever girls - be smart, don't show it, and life shows that only smart girl can build strong and beautiful relations.
Any relations in the world - it's like a mirror, whatever u send to the world (to ur relations) - it'll be back for sure. So the only thing we should carry about - who we are and what we can give to the partner. We should build ourself, and when we gonna be ready - the partner will feel it and none of u will be able to stop this attraction ))

The beauty of life....

2007-04-25T18:01:00.000+02:00

It's so beautiful to live when u can breath free, when u can do wherever u wish and nobody and nothing can stop u. U get some drops of this freedom... Couple months ago i felt as if my mind was going to blow! Too much stress at work, my boss all the time was bathering me, some troubles in relationships at work, not satisfied salary and office is very far away from home. So it made me down and depressed. I noticed that sometimes after work I wanted to drink couple cocktails. It's seems to me I was smoking non-stop. I opened the eyes in the morning and was realizing how much I don't want to go to work Until once I decided (and realized) I'M A FREE PERSON. I think it's Leonora Ruzvelt said "Nobody will disrespect u if u'll let him to do that". So I decided to change the job, and as soon as I said it to myself - I could breath free. I saw that the spring already came, that the trees already green. My God, being depressed I couldn't even notice that! And in spite I still work in the same place (up to 05/30/07) my eyes has been opened. Now I'm not afraid not to get the job. I'm free, free from fairs, I believe the God will give me the chance and opportunity to come in right time, in right place and to right people. That's it. U should never be tolerant if u understand objective reasons of ur bad mood and unsatisfaction. It concerns everything, not only job. To live free all the time we have to risk. So just do it to become happy.
I'm free. I'm happy...

Why English?..

2007-04-23T19:21:00.000+02:00

I think some of my friends (Russian one) will be surprised why I wanted to use my own blog while I'm one of the author of much more beautiful and more colorful (and i guess more popular in nearest future) blog of my husband. But, let me start from the beginning...
I was 14 years old when my mom found me a private English teacher. I wanted to visit London a lot, but my knowledge in language were so power that i hardly could say what's my name. Usually at school teachers doesn't care how good u know language because it's a very hard work to teach somebody. So i started learning with one of the best private teachers. And did it for 5 years. Now, when i don't use English every day - i loose it, but thankful to my teacher, i'll never loose basic grammar. It helped me a lot - wherever I've been to - I could make friends. So now, through many years, when i haven't seen them for ages - i wanna get back our relationship. And also, it's a good practice for proving your skills )))

The start

2007-04-23T19:12:00.000+02:00

Hi guys. I'm not the only one who decided to open own blog, but i asked myself - why not? Well, being honest, the idea about that i took from my lovely husband, who did that first. I'm not sure that I will be able to attract many visitors here, so most likely I did it for my own satisfaction. As u could understand English is not my native language, so u can find here many mistakes i think. But I just really love English, the way it sounds and written. So for me it's such a pleasure to express my thoughts and feelings in English. So be tolerance for mistakes and don't punish me ) Let's start...